Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Conflicted

I feel like I always have an excuse for wanting to eat, eat, eat! My urge to eat has majorly kicked in recently. My excuse this time is both being swamped with stuff to do for the wedding and all the stress at work last week. I was reorganized into a new job and lost some of what I loved about working for my company. But I'm able to be more objective now and look at the bright side. There are definite positives about the new position as well.

So given all that's going on, in the midst of all of this, there are times where i just feel COMPELLED to eat. And other times when it's just like, screw it, and I eat.

I've kind've been just going with it, trying not to do too much damage and get past the wedding and then hopefully I can refocus, but sometimes when I look at other blogs and people's success, I am reminded of what I'm not doing for myself. Especially since there's a whole group of people banded at right around the same time I was. I need to be doing better for myself. I need to be learning how to deal with stress and not just stuff my face.

And then last night, I got my wedding dress back from being hemmed and its still a bit on the tight side.!!! It fits but I had hoped to LOSE so that it'd be a bit loose.

I did lose enough to fit into it (I bought it a size too small) but then I just stopped and let that be good enough.

So I now have a plan to wear spanx two sizes too small! Or how about double spanx!?!? I'm only partially kidding...

Twice, after trying my dress on, I was like, I'm going back on shakes for a few days to get a jump start, but then I was back to eating crap! And that depressed me more, that I couldn't jump start myself.

I've taken this week off so I'm at home all day, which also tends to be my undoing. And I'll be in Texas as of tomorrow which also often triggers my "eat" mode.

Looking on the bright side, with this compulsion to eat and my typical pre-band "screw it" mentality when I'm stressed, if it weren't for the band, no way that dress would fit at all. At least with the band, I can't do as much damage as I could've in the past.

For today, I'm going to make my choices in the moment. I chose to have a banana instead of a pastry this morning. I'll just try and make the best choices for the moment and not think about the long term until after the wedding.


1 comment:

  1. Really good point.. that you minimize the damage with the band and eating - but the other one is I think once you get past all the stress happening now, you can just focus. Fingers crossed :)

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