Up two pounds, it's official now

So I knew it was coming, but I was very hesitant to get on the scale this morning. I weighed myself late last week and the scale was up two pounds, but as of Monday morning, that makes it official. I'm actually okay with that and just wondering when the rest of what I ate over Thanksgiving will show itself on the scale!

I definitely won't be achieving my next mini-goal by Dec 1st however. But I very much enjoyed the holiday weekend and all the cooking.

Afraid to look at the scale tomorrow

Can't I just ignore the scale? Oh wait, this is what got me into this problem in the first place!

I'm sure I did some damage with all the holiday eating, cooking and baking this weekend.

Last i looked a few days ago, I was two pounds up. Anything like 5 pounds, and I'll freak. And that is totally possible!

I guess that's what happens when you forget healthy eating and just go for it!

Union Square Holiday Market

Before I forget, I thought I'd share some photos from the Union Square Holiday Market. Alex and I went this weekend. I love all the different holiday markets that pop up before Christmas. A friend is working the one at Bryant Park so I definitely need to make my way over there as well.

In fact, I want to do this entire city walk featured here. That way I can go to the Brooklyn Flea's new holiday market in Manhattan as well. (I can't tell you how excited I am about that last part!)

I love NYC all done up for the holidays, and this year I'm really feeling the holiday spirit. I have a lot to be happy about.

But first things first, below are my pics from Union Sq this weekend.

I was digging through my dresser this weekend and found the pants I'm wearing above. I know the sizing is off, but they are an 18W and are HUGE! I can actually take them on and off without unzipping them. It's good to have a pair I can just throw on for doing laundry or whatnot. Too bad I didn't dig them out sooner and get more proper wear out of them.

This last photo was a fun display from a booth selling ties. Love it!

Cooking and baking up a storm!

I don't know what's gotten into me, but I've been cooking and baking up a storm and very much enjoying it! The only problem is the calories involved (and of course cleaning up the kitchen after!)

We had an elaborate breakfast this morning, not terrible with the exception of the biscuits. I made more of the leftover dough from Thanksgiving's Angel biscuits. I tried a different approach this time and it worked but having the bread was just too much. So i had a bite or two. I only baked three total so I didn't feel so bad about the waste. I can eat the bread, it goes down, and I LOVE DOUGHY BREAD, but something about this lap-band process has made me pick it out of much of what I eat. Usually absent mindedly. There are some exceptions, but even with a slice of pizza or even a quesadilla or sandwhich, I find myself picking out the bready parts.

I've allowed myself some indulgence this weekend; however, tomorrow, I need to figure out how to get back on track. I'll have to think about my specific strategy however. For the rest of today, I'll be cleaning and organizing. I'll likely have some clothes to share with the sisterhood in the near future as well.

A different perspective

We had this awesome party at work last week.  Our production department decided to have a "dessert hour" and all of their staff made these elaborate baked goods.  I can't say I was very good.  Honestly, I was a little too excited about all of the craft that went into the exquisite desserts they had on display.  

However, someone just sent me this photo from the party (that's me in black with my hand to my face), and it was interesting to see this photo which wasn't at all posed.  I loved seeing it because I look so NORMAL and on the thinner side than usual.  I'm not so much bigger than everyone else around me!

I got lots of compliments that day as I recall, but it's nice to see myself from that objective perspective, not sucking it in or showing my "good side" to the camera.

Of course, since then, the scale has gone up two pounds (at least!!), but that'll work it's way back off.

New You Tattoos

Mom will freak at this, but Alex and I have a notion of getting tattoos to represent our weight loss through this process. Mine would be a collection of small tattoos, one for every mini goal met. Originally, I was thinking small colorful stars, but after seeing this collection of birds, I may just change my mind about that.

I'm completely smitten, though I'd never do them on my wrist. Somewhere that I could hide them if I wanted or alternately, show them off when I felt like it. I still don't know where that would be.

I suggested stars on the top of my foot, but Alex seemed to think that would make me look like a heroin addict trying to cover my injection site. ew...

Has anyone else heard of other people marking their weight loss in a similar way?

Out and about today

Alex and I were out and about today. It was a nice brisk Fall day here in New York. More on our day in another post soon, but I thought I'd share this lovely photo I came across that just screams Fall to me. Reminds me of a tree that's in bloom in our back yard, and it just seemed an appropriate marker of the day.

The pie did me in

So the pie was the thing that put me over. Feeling a bit yuck now, but I stopped and only hate half a piece. But wow it was good! Not really a pie, actually a pumpkin cheesecake. Paula Dean. Utter decadence!

All that work and it's over already!?!

So I've been cooking up a storm since last night. This was my first year cooking Thanksgiving dinner by myself. Alex helped of course too (with his roast and the dishes(yay!)), but normally I'm with family and they do the cooking.

I was really psyched to try some new recipes, and dinner was wonderful. I must admit I was very proud; however, since both Alex and I have the band, after eating for just a few minutes we were both like, whew, we're full! It was a carb heavy meal with potatoes and rolls and stuffing and more, so I'm sure that played a big part. I barely even managed half a roll, but it was good. Mostly I'm fine with bread; it just fills me up.

I'm kind've glad I didn't overdo it. I got to try everything, was super excited about the really fancy potato dish, and was satisfied. The mushrooms weren't great and I burnt the almonds to go with the lemon parm asparagus (again no trouble eating asparagus), so it wasn't perfect. But for a first time, I was very happy. Especially since a couple of dishes were die to for. No overeating which is unusual for Thanksgiving! Of course, pie is still yet to come but I'm taking a break for now.

I'm working on uploading details of the potato dish as well as the pumpkin cheesecake over on my other blog dabble. They should be up shortly for anyone who is interested.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

That's me below with our spread -- or some of it anyway. Too bad so many biscuits will go to waste! Alex declined to be in any of these pictures, so it seems to be just me, me, me!


P.S. That's the table I refinished a couple of months ago. This was also our first holiday with a proper dining room table. Kind've a big deal to me since we've been living in NYC.

Melting Mama Contest

I just signed up to win the following elaborate gift basket on Melting Mama, another WLS blog. It includes all kinds of diet-friendly goodies!

If you aren't familiar with the site, it's a good one. Check it out!

Good thing I skipped dinner

So I'm cooking up a storm tonight, trying to cut down on the amount of stuff I'll have to do tomorrow for Thanksgiving. Good thing I skipped dinner because I certainly have nibbled more than enough of what I'm cooking to make up for FIVE dinners! Mostly because some of it was a pumpkin cheesecake.

I'm going to blog about some of what I'm cooking and baking on my other blog, a little dabble. I've been pretty inspired to get creative in the kitchen, but I don't want to tempt anyone who is trying to be good!

Where do/did you all shop?

Now that I'm losing weight, I find myself putting more energy into into getting ready and what I wear. However, I'm tired of looking for plus-sized clothing at the same old shops.

Where do you all shop for clothes? My go-to stores are the usual...Lane Bryant and The Avenue. But also Macy's, Nordstroms, Old Navy, Talbots and Target.

Do you guys have any other suggestions for where to shop here in the US? I'm specifically looking for stores online.

Thanks in advance!

Should I just give in for the holidays?!?

I enjoyed myself WAY TOO MUCH this past weekend. I indulged greatly, the scale went back up, and now I'm considering taking a break from the "diet" for the entire holiday season!

Say what, you say!?!?

Okay, not for the entire holiday season, what about just the days I'm off work???

I'm behind on posting; I have lots of updates, but it sounds like perhaps I could use a fill for December, otherwise, I'll really be done in!

Someone else's wedding this time

Alex and I had such a blast last night. A close friend of Alex's got married at the Housingworks Bookstore Cafe in Soho last night. They both work in publishing (as do Alex and I), so the venue was a perfect choice for them. It was beautifully lit up and decorated, and what's even better is that Housingworks is a non-profit with mostly a volunteer staff, so by choosing that venue, 100% of the profits went to AIDS-related charities.

It was fun to get all dolled up, and to admire all the fancy dresses the other women were wearing. We forgot our camera, so we only got this one photo above with Alex's iphone, which is why it's a bit grainy. I haven't worn this dress in a long while, but it has an eventful history for me. The first time was for a Lincoln Center New York Film Festival Gala and the second was for a charity fundraiser at Sotheby's. These are the kinds of events that remind me why I love living in New York!

After a month-long plateau, it's finally coming off!

So I lost one more pound this morning. After not losing any weight for more than a month, this past week, I have lost 6 pounds! WOW!

This exercise thing is REALLY paying off. I went to the gym again after work last night, then decided to take the express train all the way home. That stop is further away, so I had to walk half a mile to get home. But i felt great about it.

So at this point, I have lost more than 15% of my body weight. I'm also 1/3 of the way to goal!

3 pounds to my next mini goal. That seems so doable now!

Boobs Ahoy!

So I sucked all my business into some spanx today that have always been WAY too small - the leggings-looking kind. At that point, I happily fit into my new sharp-looking Ralph Lauren pants that have been in my closet for a couple of years waiting to be worn. (I could've sworn they were an 18, but unfortunately only a 20).

I put on some high-heel boots and was feeling sharp. All day I was getting compliments, so I had a friend at work snap a pic of me to post here.

The first pic above I like. However, this second pic below shocked me!


Talk about boobs ahoy. All boobs all the time! I can't believe they look like that! I'm going to be on a mission soon to buy minimizer bras. And certainly another visit to Intimacy, the bra store, is in store.

Beyond the fact that I'm normally bigger on top anyway, when I lose weight, I lose it on the bottom faster, much faster. Then when I suck it all in on the bottom with a spanx, that reaallly shows how off-proportion I am! So now I need spanx on top too!

I actually tried a slimmer tank on top and looked like a smashed sausage. So instead, a minimizer bra will have to do!

A walk with my pups tonight

So instead of going down to the gym today, I made a conscious decision to give my muscles a day of rest from the strength-training and instead give our pups a nice long walk for my daily exercise.

That's Cali above on the left. She's a cocker spaniel / poodle mix (a cockapoo! ;) and JJ on the right, he's a Yorkie / Terrier mix. Both are 15-20 pound rescue dogs.

The walk we took is one mile round trip over to Sunset Park and back home. It's a great park too because it's the highest point in Brooklyn and is relatively near the water. That means that when you get to the top of the hill you get this awesome view of Manhattan and the East River. You can also see the Statue of Liberty. Love it!

I'm sure JJ and Cali will love it if they get to go on the longer walks more regularly.

Getting on the computer before work is just a bad idea

I get so excited when I lose a few pounds I want to share it with the world, but unfortunately getting on the computer before I go to work in the morning is never a great idea. Like with the fact that I'm also writing this post, I just LOVE to procrastinate and be late! ;)

Woot! I lost 2 pounds.

That's a total of 5 since I got back from the wedding. I guess I did just need to refocus! I'm now 4 pounds away from my next mini goal, and I'm super excited/motivated about it!

BTW I had a total clothes meltdown this morning

I had such a busy day I almost forgot about my little "fit" this morning. I had a really important, high-profile, all-day meeting at work and needed to be looking really sharp.

So I went to my closet, and it just wasn't coming together. My staples don't fit and don't look as sharp as I expected now that I've been putting more energy into what I wear and how I look.

I pulled out a pair of size 18 pants I haven't been able to wear and yay, they fit, but unfortunately, I realized the tapered leg was just no longer working for me. Especially not with my pointy toe boots and a too square shouldered jacket. I was looking very 90s, and Alex was cracking up!

And my standard suit jacket and shell just hung on me, way too loose!

Anyway, three outfits later, I threw on a mostly black outfit with a fancy scarf and totally had to hoof it to get to the actual meeting on time! How ridiculous would it be for me to be so caught up in looking good that I show up late!? That'd make a great impression!

But I wasn't late, I was 5 minutes early, and looked pretty sharp. I just had to sweat my commute a bit. I think now that I have this new higher profile job, I'm going to need to get a few new pieces of work clothing and prevent this going forward! Especially pants! None of my pants fit!

I've added a new short term goal for myself

So I've been keeping a "secret" goal for myself. Okay, not secret but just not included on my list of mini goals here on the blog. It felt silly to have a mini-goal every five pounds, but today, I just decided who cares, why not every 5 pounds for a while if that's what will motivate me.

So I added another goal at 45 pounds lost since that'll put me into a weight category I haven't been in for ages! It's actually really motivating me, so I'm pretty psyched!

UPDATE: Actually changed it to 46 pounds lost since that's what'll get me to where I want to be!

I *actually* went to the gym TWO days in a row!

So I felt really good after going to the gym yesterday and got a lift from it. Sooo...what did I do today after work? I went to the gym again! Yay me. And I felt great after my workout tonight. Tired and hungry but also relaxed and content. I don't always get to that sweet spot after a workout. Often I'm just annoyed and not loving it.

What really surprised me was that I had the energy to go and was motivated. Not super hyped up, but i wanted to do it, wasn't dragging myself. Where's all this energy coming from? Normally after a day full of meetings (literally 10am to 3pm), the last thing I would do would be go to the gym. I barely even had to talk myself into it!

Another motivator, the gym I joined is expensive, so in this case, what I'm paying has been another extra motivation TO GO!

When I lost 100 pounds about 10 years ago (and of course gained back), I had joined Healthworks in Boston. (Shocks me that it's been that long!) I LOVED that chain and was so loyal. It was an all-women gym, was super clean, had great equipment, a juice bar, and a hot tub. The whole changing area was a spa-like environment with fresh flowers all of the time. My favorite though was the elaborate stretching area they had with all these different contraptions including a big spider wall type thing to help you get a really good stretch!

I have a business trip to Boston in March and I should totally get a day pass just to go and have that experience again!

Anyway, my point is that I kept thinking that if I joined a gym I felt pampered by, I'd *want* to go to the gym. Or at least not hate it. So I put down a pretty penny to join the Eastern Athletic gym in Tribeca. I just wish it was all female. I think I saw a former male work colleague there tonight and wasn't loving that. Someone I don't know well enough to say hi to but awkward enough to make me want to avoid him.

Anyway, enough rambling. My goal is to go to the gym 3 to 5 times a week. I'm planning on having your guys hold me accountable for that! ;) (gulp!)

Successful day

So, yay, I did go to the gym and felt great about it. The only thing about going to the gym at lunch is that it takes an hour and a half or just more even.

The last time I went I pulled a muscle in my calf, and that's still been tight even two months later. Needless to say, I spent a fair amount of time stretching it out. Then I did some strength-training and cardio. I felt a bit weak when I left, but it was good. I'm anticipating being sore on top tomorrow since I did the weights and don't have much upper body strength to speak of!

Usually I'm ravenous right after a workout, but that didn't hit me until later in the afternoon. Then I was starving after work despite having a thin broth then fruit and a cookie as a late afternoon snack.

Let's hope this trend continues!

I'm actually going to the gym at lunch today

Don't let me tell you otherwise later in the day! I haven't been going, so it's now or never. The gym ain't cheap!

I'll have an update later in the day...

A Compliment and Feeling Girly!

So I just got a lovely email from a friend (who doesn't know about the surgery). She says, "I'm happy that you're so upbeat these days. I dunno what it is, but you seem a lot more energetic than you have been for ages!"

And it's true. I totally feel that way. Definitely the wedding but also the weight loss does tons for my energy level. Not sure about the job change. I've yet to decide how I feel about it, but I am out of my comfort zone which tends to be good for me. I had been very complacent about work before.

In general, I feel like being really girly lately, and I've been saying yes more often when people ask me to go do things. I've even been thinking about getting semi-permanent eyelashes put on! Doesn't get much girlier than that. I just loved them so much during the wedding.

And since I have a handful of events coming up, including a wedding next weekend, I've been on the hunt for cute cocktail dresses. I don't often wear dresses, so again, girly girly girly! Yay!

I was able to dig one of my old favorites out of my closet for the wedding (I'll post about that later), but I might want to buy a new one for our New York Wedding Party. Something like this Calvin Klein sheath dress shown above??? (That's a model of course, not me!)

Someone tried to convince me I could wear my wedding dress again for our NYC wedding party, but since it's pretty low key and will be at our house, I'm not so sure. Feels a little too diva for me. Or instead just a little white dress might be perfect. But not so easy to find...

New Before and After Pics

Since I recently reached another mini-goal, 40 pounds lost, I decided it was time for another set of before and after pics. These were taken yesterday.

I really didn't feel much of a difference between 30 pounds lost and 40 pounds lost, but looking at the photos side by side helped. Here's me at 30 pounds down.


The next set will come when I reach 50 pounds down. Can't wait for that!

Dinner Pics

So I had fun getting all dolled up last night. It was the first time since the wedding that I've tried wearing my contacts again. I get terrible dry eye which is why I hadn't been wearing them since buying them, but so far so good.

I also wore my new tall boots and had actually squeezed myself into a pair that weren't "wide calf."

Nora made me feel very pretty when we met up at a bar after dinner by raving about how I look and my fun new boots. Thanks Nora! ;) We hadn't seen each other in a little while but she knew all about everything because she follows this blog! She actually went with me when I bought my wedding dress and we were discussing last night under what circumstances I might be able to wear it again since I love it so much!

Here are pics below of the awesome view from the restaurant. It was raining so they're a bit foggy, but it was still romantic.

I was good with my salad entree and a couple of fries until it came to dessert. I didn't want to post too much on that here, but I did put a photo of the fun Brookyn Bridge Mousse we shared on my other blog dabble.

I kept it to 2-1/2 glasses of wine between dinner and my friend's birthday party at a nearby bar which is more than I planned, but not that bad. I'm a light-weight in general, but alcohol does go to my head faster these days.

We're actually going out on a Saturday night!

Alex and I have a habit of just being homebodies and hanging out at home Saturday nights, but not tonight. I've actually convinced him to come to a party with me. And since we'll be going out, I've also convinced him to come to one of my favorite restaurants in South Street Seaport. Awesome views of the Brooklyn Bridge all lit up at night. This was the only photo I could find above, so hopefully tonight, I'll have a better one of the bridge at night to post.

And I'm going to take some bandster advice I heard: order appetizers as your main course! It's a seafood restaurant which doesn't help me since I'm a vegetarian; however, they look to have some pretty incredible salads. Definitely better than my usual seafood restaurant meal of pasta.

Alex is digging the fish n' chips on the menu. We don't find that often here, so a little splurge for him is okay. He was actually really good last night when I was next to him eating the chocolate at the movies.

What do you eat at the movie theater?

So one challenge for me post band is going to the movies. I just LOVE getting a big 'ol soda and popcorn and chocolate. For those of you who are banded, do you do without at the movies? Do you substitute?

I definitely avoid the super-sized portions and I try to avoid the popcorn (though it goes down just fine), but I'm always so tempted that I give in and have something. Last night I shared a small Diet Coke and had some Raisinettes. But it was a complete mental exercise because I was not hungry. I was at the movies and just really wanted to have something.

Perhaps next time, I'll skip dinner or have a smaller dinner and bring in my own tiny bag of candy to *share.* I just love going for dinner after work Fridays and seeing a movie.

Dinner on the otherhand I was happy with. Vietnamese. Steamed veggies and lightly stir-fried tofu and I left a mostly full plate.

Big Travel Plans - We're going to Peru!

I must admit post-wedding that I just feel utterly happy most of the time these days! I feel motivated in general, creative, inspired, and wanting to do more and bigger things.

We've been keeping an eye out for honeymoon packages (since our Honeymoon has been postponed until the Spring), and when looking around, I found a steal of a deal for plane tickets to Peru for only $250/pp INCLUDING international taxes! That's just crazy because it costs more than that to go for a visit home to Texas!

I mentioned it to Alex in passing before the wedding, but when we got back he kept talking about it (his Dad's family is from there) and finally he talked me into it. Shockingly, he talked ME into it. Normally, it'd be the other way around. This is for a trip in addition to our honeymoon.

And we actually bought our tickets! We're going the week of Memorial Day weekend. That price was even good for holiday weekend travel, directly from a reputable South American airline. Crazy crazy crazy...

Plus once we get there things will be super inexpensive and the hotels we're seeing are highly rated but really great deals!

It was rather a spur of the moment decision, but I'm so psyched about it. We went out tonight and bought a travel book. I'm going to have fun planning this. Plus it's a great exercise motivation since Machu Picchu is at such a high altitude, we're going to need to be in great physical shape to handle hiking that high up!

25% too good to be true

So I mentioned in a post yesterday that I was skeptical about my 4 pound loss. Well, this morning I forced myself to get on the scale again and not to just coast on that weight-loss high. And it turns out that big loss was only a little bit too good to be true. The number was back up one pound. But that means I still hit my most recent mini-goal so it's all good!

NSV - I'm crossing my legs

So this is one of those things only big girls will get. I've been shocked at work lately as I find myself crossing my legs in mtgs! And they actually cross. Not as good as they can or will, but I'm doing it!

That's a great confidence booster.

Say what!?! I lost 4 pounds in 2 days?

So after my last few posts, I decided I need to weigh myself this morning in order to stay focused on my weight and weight loss. Needless to say, I was shocked, SHOCKED, that the scale seemed to say I LOST 4 pounds! I actually didn't believe it, so I reweighed, and it said the exact same thing!

What!?!?!

I mean, I guess I'll take it! It means several significant victories. A) This plateau I've been stuck at is done B) I passed my next mini goal C) I'm at the lowest weight I've been at in six years! D) I'm back on track for real! Woot!

Wow, 41 pounds gone! Yay!

Thanks everyone for all your kind words!

This is the number in my weight loss where I always stray

So if I look at my history over the last 6 years, the weight I'm at now is always where I go off plan and gain it all back. And given that I haven't lost any real weight in the last 5 weeks, I'd say that's where I am now. The good part however, is that I seem to not be able to gain it back even though I've essentially been trying (not actually, but who knows, subconsciously). So that to me is another accomplishment. That this plateau won't be my downfall. And that unlike all the other times, I'm not gaining back at this weight. I just hit a wall and am working my way through it...

How many calories do you eat a day?

So I'm curious how many calories each of you eat in a day. Say on a good day vs. either a normal or a bad day?

I aim for 1200, but I'm curious about you guys, especially those with the band.

Oh, and in all honesty, on a bad day, I can still put away 2000-3000 shockingly (despite the band). But that's the asbsolute worst. Can't eat more than that even if I tried.

Thanks in advance!

Revised weight loss goals

So after falling off the wagon a bit with all the stress and wedding planning, I've just revised my weight loss goals as part of my refocusing effort. And I'm trying to stay realistic!

40 pounds lost
by Thanksgiving (11/26/09)
ACCOMPLISHED EARLY!

50 pounds lost
by Christmas (12/25/09)

60 pounds lost
by our New York wedding party (1/23/10)

65 pounds lost
by Valentine's Day 2010

75 pounds lost (ONE-DERLAND!)
by our big work conference (3/23/10)

80 pounds lost
by our Honeymoon (April 2010)

100 pounds lost!!! My most important goal...
by our Summer Sales Meeting July 2010

110 pounds lost (my high school weight!)
by August 2010 (my band birthday)

125 pounds lost
GOAL!
by 10/16/10 (my 36th birthday!)

Refocusing

So I'm back in New York now and had yesterday to recoup. Today, I'm still a bit lounge-y, unpacking, etc. I have the day off, but I have refocused myself in regard to my weight loss goals.

At first I felt I was doing well in this whole lapband process, then I was okay with my weight loss, but just before I left, I was realizing that all the other people who were banded near the same time as me had lost so much more weight and that kind've shocked me and made me realize I really need to get in this if I'm ever going to lose it all! This is my chance, so I can't squander it.

Considering all the stress and eating the last few weeks, I only gained one pound which i finally made myself add to my tracker. I'm okay with that.

I am going to reconfigure my goals however since I've missed a few. Those dates are all just way off now.

And as I posted before, I need to make my decisions in the moment and stay focused on what I can do right now, since I so often tend to just say, oh I'll do it later, and then I never do. Ie: the gym. It's been a while. I'm definitely going back this week! Hold me to that promise because that's where my challenge will be with all the chaos I'm sure I'll return to at work having been gone for a week and a half.

I can't stop looking at our wedding photos!

I'm completely obsessed! Our wedding photographer sent us a sneak peak of them, and I LOVE them! They are exactly what I imagined. She captured how fun it was and all the great details.

I'm a bit chubbier in the photos than I would have preferred, but I can live with it and still want to share the pics with everyone.

I might not have said that 35 pounds ago before the band!

Check out our wedding blog for lots more pics!

For anyone in Houston, the photographer was a steal of a deal. I can't recommend her highly enough. My sister also used her for family photos, and they were just so, so good! Her info is included on the page linked above.

Mr. and Mrs.

So we're officially married!

We had some glitches with the rehearsal dinner, but the wedding was phenomenal. I still can't believe we pulled it off since it was so DIY.

Here's a sneak peak of one of the wedding photos. Our best man is toasting us. I can't wait until we get the photographers photos!

I just keep thinking about how great it was and all the wonderful details. Needless to say I ate lots of cake and was bad, but it was fun!

As of this coming week, I'll be returning to New York and recommitting myself to the band and refocusing in general.

Three days!

Three more days until the wedding!

Today's probably my last day spending any time online, so I'll see you on the other side! Pics to come next week.

Thanks to everyone for all of your support.

NYC Marathon

I've been so busy that I never posted my NYC Marathon pics. Not that *I* ran the marathon, but I did happen upon it Sunday morning when walking the dogs. Turns out the marathon runs down 4th Ave in Brooklyn, just half a block from my apartment.

One of my dogs, JJ, has a thing about people running. It gets him riled up, so imagine the poor guy when all he sees is a sea of people running down the avenue!

Needless to say, I decided it was a bit too stressful for him, so I took him back home and got Alex to come out and watch the race with me.

I've never seen a marathon before but I was overwhelmed and inspired by it! It felt so good to watch it, I can only imagine how it must have felt to be a runner. Everyone cheering you on, lots of high fives and signs. The costumes some of the runners were wearing were pretty great too and all those customized t-shirts.

I really had a buzz after watching that. It also reminded me of why I love living in New York. I go out to walk my dogs and end up wandering into something as great as this.

Conflicted

I feel like I always have an excuse for wanting to eat, eat, eat! My urge to eat has majorly kicked in recently. My excuse this time is both being swamped with stuff to do for the wedding and all the stress at work last week. I was reorganized into a new job and lost some of what I loved about working for my company. But I'm able to be more objective now and look at the bright side. There are definite positives about the new position as well.

So given all that's going on, in the midst of all of this, there are times where i just feel COMPELLED to eat. And other times when it's just like, screw it, and I eat.

I've kind've been just going with it, trying not to do too much damage and get past the wedding and then hopefully I can refocus, but sometimes when I look at other blogs and people's success, I am reminded of what I'm not doing for myself. Especially since there's a whole group of people banded at right around the same time I was. I need to be doing better for myself. I need to be learning how to deal with stress and not just stuff my face.

And then last night, I got my wedding dress back from being hemmed and its still a bit on the tight side.!!! It fits but I had hoped to LOSE so that it'd be a bit loose.

I did lose enough to fit into it (I bought it a size too small) but then I just stopped and let that be good enough.

So I now have a plan to wear spanx two sizes too small! Or how about double spanx!?!? I'm only partially kidding...

Twice, after trying my dress on, I was like, I'm going back on shakes for a few days to get a jump start, but then I was back to eating crap! And that depressed me more, that I couldn't jump start myself.

I've taken this week off so I'm at home all day, which also tends to be my undoing. And I'll be in Texas as of tomorrow which also often triggers my "eat" mode.

Looking on the bright side, with this compulsion to eat and my typical pre-band "screw it" mentality when I'm stressed, if it weren't for the band, no way that dress would fit at all. At least with the band, I can't do as much damage as I could've in the past.

For today, I'm going to make my choices in the moment. I chose to have a banana instead of a pastry this morning. I'll just try and make the best choices for the moment and not think about the long term until after the wedding.

My first "sliming" incident -- TMI Post

Wow, so I really couldn't have imagined what sliming even was until I experienced it. I posted the other day that I hadn't gotten stuck or slimed or anything, but last night i was distracted, eating a piece of banana bread and having a diet soda, when my chest tightened up and it was evident that what I had eaten was definitely working its way back up.

Talk about a conversation ender! I was with Alex in the middle of talking and well, all attention went to my tightening chest and a tightening throat eventually.

I was just rubbing my chest, hoping it would pass with a burp or something but instead I gagged some slime into the sink (I warned you this wasTMI!) and then that was that. It was over. So i guess my body successfully lubricated that piece of bread into getting unstuck and it went on its merry old way down to my stomach.

Wow I'm glad that didn't happen in public! I can't imagine being out with people and explaining what on earth was going on.

So...chew chew chew and eat slower!