Before and After: What Could Be

I'm in need of a bit of motivation, so I took a relatively recent pic of me at my heaviest (size 24) and paired it with a pic of me at my lightest (size 10) to create my own before and after as a goal.

I can't wait to get that skinny jaw line back!

Getting Stuck

So hopefully I'm not jinxing myself (knock on wood), but I was just reading a few other blogs where people have talked about getting stuck.

I think because I've been able to eat bread and lettuce and different things that some people have trouble with, I've gotten rather lax about chewing thoroughly and taking my time. Mostly I focus on the quantity I eat (sometimes too much I'm sure), but I fear that day when I'm distracted or I choose the wrong food, and I get stuck. I haven't actually had a pb yet either. Alex said he has gotten stuck and had pb's and "slimed." I think those were related to eating meat for him. Since I dont eat meat, I haven't run into that. But I'm sure there are lots of veg foods that can get stuck too!

I compromised and took *some* of the week off

In my last post I mentioned how stressed I am and how I was wanting to just take the week off. I couldn't quite do that, but I did take today and tomorrow off for weddingy-goodness and planning! Yay!

I was just ecstatic when I got home yesterday, dancing around, "la la la, I have two days off!"

It's amazing that such a small thing went such a long way.

I'm also coming to terms with some of the changes at work and stuff is moving forward with the wedding. I want to just get enough done that I can relax and enjoy it when the time comes.

I've also made a point to keep weighing myself. I've realized it doesn't make me neurotic to weigh daily, instead, it's one of the things I need to do for myself to stay on top of my weight. If I don't weigh daily, then i find it easy to just not think about my weight and be in denial about what I eat.

Of course, I find that easy no matter what!

What do I do when I'm stressed?

I eat! I've always known this but some stuff is going down at work and wow, this really reinforces my inclination to just eat when i'm stressing. And less than two weeks until the wedding with LOTS left to do so I'm stressing about that too.

Ideally, I could just take this week off of work as well as next and not worry about work AT ALL. That way i might enjoy my final wedding preps, but I'm not sure that'll happen.

Plus they're having another cake for me later in the week. I can see myself pigging out already!

But wait, i still need to LOSE (not GAIN) before the wedding.

I guess this whole process is about figuring this stuff out...

Does the band get tighter in cold weather?

I just saw this same question posted on Lap Band Talk. Is this true? I'm surprised by the different things that affect the tightness of the band. Curious to hear your thoughts and whether I should be prepared.

I definitely had a tight band this morning and could barely eat any of my breakfast. Very much unlike yesterday morning. Not that that is weather related, but obviously different factors affect the band.

Me Eating Cake

So yesterday my coworkers hosted a little work birthday party for me.

I had forgotten when we booked it that I scheduled my fill for the day before so I wasn't supposed to eat. So I decided I'd just have a little icing. But of course, with the cake in front of me, so pretty and all, and all my coworkers around me, I just had to have a nibble.

And when that nibble went down okay, I ate a small piece!

And when that piece went down okay...

I think you might know what happened here. They *insisted* I take a piece home for later since SO MUCH was left. And they *insisted* I take some for Alex, which I then went back to my desk with, and it was just staring at me. So I slowly picked, until somehow another piece was gone.

Then, I threw the rest out! And the leftovers of the whole big cake went to the kitchen. It's amazing how when it's just a little (chocolate with vanilla buttercream) it tastes soooo good, but then when i overdid it, it didn't taste as good and i felt GROSS!

Back on all liquids today. My only indulgence has been coffee, and I'm okay with that!

That's me with my assistant below. I was quite tickled with that little extra touch of having my name on the cake! It was from a posh little bakery here in Tribeca too which is fun!

My last post reminds me

Last week when I was cleaning, I threw myself over the side of the laundry bin to dig down and get some laundry (so my waist was bent over the metal bar of the bin). Being that I did it too forcefully, the metal shoved into my port! Ow!

Could've been worse certainly, but that was another reminder, that oh yeah, i have this thing in me!

Normally, I can't feel it at all as I mentioned...

I felt my port without trying for the first time this morning

So this morning I was laying on the bed and brushed my hand against my stomach and was shocked to find the port kind of sticking out!!! (But not in a gross way). Just so I could notice it.

Normally, I can barely find it even pushing and feeling around so this was a bit of a shock. Guess there's less tummy to hide it. It wasn't exactly where i expected it though. Instead, further to the right.

Very interesting... Sometimes I forget the port and even the band are there at all!

I'm on a roll

Another pound "fell" off this morning! Yay! 2 more to my next mini goal.

What once I wouldn't touch...

now I think is the BOMB!

Ages ago, someone sent me this instant mushroom soup on a trade I did on Swap-bot.com. It's been sitting in my drawer since the Spring because it just never appealed to me.

Well today, wanting something other than a protein shake, I just went digging in my drawer to see what I had. And guess what? This stuff is phenomenal!

Part of me is thinking it's not just that it's all I can have, but that it's actually good. I'll be enjoying some Campbell's tomato soup tonight. That stuff rocks too!

(And only 92 calories per serving!)

Another pound down!

I was surprised yesterday to see that the doctor's scale showed me another pound down, and my own scale at home this morning followed suit.

I'm mostly just happy that the scale is once again moving in the right direction. I missed my last mini goal by 3 pounds, but I'm really focused on my wedding goal of 13!

However, if i lost just 9 pounds I'd be pretty ecstatic! That'll be a 6 year low!

Low Blood Pressure?

I had a bit of a shock when the nurse took my vitals yesterday before my fill. I went from having high blood pressure before my surgery to actually low blood pressure yesterday. My last doctor's visit I had low blood pressure as well. I dont remember exactly but something like 95 /55.

My worst reading ever was 130/90. Though usually I was at 120/80.

The doctor seemed to think it wasn't an issue and the nurse said maybe I hadn't slept enough. I'm worried that I'm tired BECAUSE of the low blood pressure!

For now, nothing to worry about, but I am going to stay on top of it.

My second fill

I had my second fill yesterday, and although my doctor doesn't have the gentlest of touches, this time was better than last.
(Only because she didn't extract the fluid to see how much she started with).

However, I watched Alex get his first fill and it looked rather rough!

She seemed pleased with my weight loss so far. 9.5 pounds since my last visit, but I'm not loving it since it'd been 5 weeks (i think). But it's okay.

I got 1cc put in the band, so now i'm to something like 6.6.

Today and tomorrow will be liquids only and I can definitely feel the restriction and the pressure in my chest which got a bit tight when I had my protein shake today. I know that that'll ease up of course over the next two days, but in a perfect world this would be my last fill!

The Birthday Bride

So this past weekend was my both my 35th birthday and my bachelorette party. I had a couple of close friends come to New York to visit for a 4-day weekend. Needless to say, this involved some indulgence, but I enjoyed every minute of it.

I purposely planned my 2nd fill for after given the post-fill liquid diet. More on my fill later.

We started Friday with a visit to the Madison Square Market. Madison Square Park is one of my favorite parks in the city, and I love outdoor markets with handcrafted goods. This market had a bunch of foodie vendors as well. I started writing up what we ate, but I don't want to be a bad influence on those of you out there trying to be good.

Dinner Friday was the big deal though. For my birthday dinner, we ate at Per Se. Definitely one of the best meals I've ever eaten! Again, I won't go into too much detail here (I might on my other blog later however).

Saturday was the bachelorette party. My friends got us a suite at The London Hotel and we invited people over for wine and cheese from Murray's Cheese in the Village. Mmmm... Then off to a burlesque/variety show at Le Scandal!

Sunday was just chilling out with a little more cheese and chocolate!

But the long weekend is officially over, so it's time to make up for my indulgences. My post-fill diet will help I'm sure.

Ice Coffee No Longer Does the Trick

There's nothing I love better than my morning cup of coffee. I usually go out to get it, but when I'm being "good," I just get half a small decaf with splenda and a little half and half.

However, I LOVE iced coffee! The few times I've had it post surgery though it just doesn't go down the same since my band is so much tighter in the morning. Especially if I have food along with it.

I've had it a few times in the morning, like this morning, but I'm not enjoying it as much. Guess I have to stick with the warm coffee from now on.

Back from another trip to Texas

Just got back from another trip to Texas for both birthdays and wedding planning this past weekend. I enjoy going home, but whenever I'm in Texas it's like an all out excuse to eat for some reason. It's jut what I associate with being home. Not specifically my family or anything, just Texas culture in general, driving, being in a car, eating fast food, shopping.

Of course, I can't do as much damage now that I have the band, but I am still surprised how much I can eat still (in the evenings, mornings are easier). I'm back to New York though so back to being healthier!

Next week is my bachelorette party, and I have some friends visiting and projects before then, so I'm not sure how much I'll be able to post, but I'll be checking in a bit at least.

Losing my focus

Wow, I must not be focused because I actually forgot what my next mini-goal is! I'm just thinking wedding, wedding, wedding, and I forgot my next mini-goal is actually the weekend after next for my 35th bday!

4 more pounds on that one. Time to get focused.

Onnnee pounnndd at a tiimmmee

Lost another pound today. Yay! Sometimes it feels like it comes off soooo slowly. However, I also know there's more I could be doing to make it go faster. I've been pretty good about breakfast and lunches. I've given up my fancy coffees and often skip breakfast because the band is tight in the morning and coffee is enough.

Plus, I no longer do lunches like I used to. I don't run out for a sandwhich or anything, I might just have something small that I previously would've considered a snack.

But the afternoons and mostly the evenings get me, and I find that I'm back to old habits of eating from the vending machine, grabbing some chinese food or eating whatever's quick and easy. I eat far less than I used to which is why the weight it still slowly coming off, but I feel like I could really ramp it up if I chose to.

Therein lies the rub. The choosing part. I'm starting to feel overwhelmed with wedding and money stuff and have been feeling a bit cranky lately. Everything I'm working on wedding wise is fun, I'm just starting to stress about it all getting done. And stressing and being tired of course makes me want to eat, cuz that's what I do.

However, I'm grateful it's still coming off! I just wish i could kick myself into high gear instead of being tired and a little cranky...

Weight Watcher's New iPhone App

How cool is this for all of you who track your calories and/or points? Weight Watchers just came out with an iPhone App for tracking. Brilliant idea. I used to use my Palm (back in the day) but it was really more like note-taking than anything organized. Since then, I've mostly been paper based.

I'm not doing Weight Watchers now, but maybe I should be. Of course, then I'd have to get an iPhone. I'm guessing they don't have one for my Google phone...

Halloween!

I'm psyched about Halloween this year as it falls on a Saturday. A friend is hosting a party here in NYC, and Alex and I are debating costumes.

I suggested we get Biggest Loser t-shirts (for sale here) so we can go as Biggest Loser contestants, but that didn't go over too well! Ha! In fact, we could one up ourselves and go in weigh-in garb (ie: close to nothing). Suprise surprise, that idea didn't fly either.

So instead, I think we'll be little red riding hood and the big bad wolf. It'll be nice when we're thin and won't have to buy specialty plus-sized costumes even!

But in this case, I'll probably just make them actually, except for Alex's wolf mask.

Surgery Give-aways!

So I was just in a meeting playing with my pen (leading this big mtg by the way), when I realized that the pen I was using is from my surgeon! It's clearly says "NYU Program for Surgical Weight Loss"!!!

Needless to say I quickly slipped it into my pocket. Just hoping since it was a pen that the writing was small enough that no one noticed!

Oops!

BMI Mini-Victory

I was so excited about fitting into my skinny jeans that I didn't even notice that meeting this particular goal also just put me below 40 BMI.

I started at 45 and that was one of the main deciding factors in having this surgery. According to the chart I looked at, I was in the highest category of obesity shown. See below from Wikipedia.

BMI Ranges
Normal = 18.5-25
Overweight = 25-30
Obese Class 1 = 30-35
Obese Class 2 = 35-40
Obese Class 3 = 40+

So now I'm at 39! Obese Class 2. No longer in the "worst" category.

A little at a time...

Met my mini-goal! New pics!

I was incredibly psyched this morning to wake up and find that I met my next mini-goal! I'm 35 pounds down! I was supposed to reach it last Saturday, but I'll take it, even if I am 5 days behind!

I haven't been this weight in like 3 years, so that felt good, but what felt even better was fitting into my "skinny jeans." I had three pairs of jeans in increasing sizes from Lane Bryant. A 22, a 20, and these are an 18. The 22's are gone, the 20's are getting baggy and now I legitimately fit into the 18's. Yayyyy!

I also got to wear one of my new tops from Sarah from Losing Weight, Gaining Tons. It's the red and white striped sweater in these pics here. Super cute.