A Better Day

Today was a very interesting day.  After my funky post yesterday, Alex and I had a long talk about our goals and then we watched the movie An Education.  Phenomenal movie by the way.  I think between those three things (and all the support from you guys), I was just thinking about change and what's good in life and that definitely put me in a better more proactive mood.

Working from home today was still a bit of a downer at first, though i was at my desk and in my work clothes once again.  I was a bit on the slow side but productive.

And Alex and I are recording what we eat.  Always a major thing for me in regards to success.  For me, writing down what i eat consistently works!

Alex has been working out a lot and he decided to try no-carb today but tonight he was just going crazy thinking about what he can't have.  Literally a bit crazy.  Have rarely seen him like this.  And that was after he caved a wee bit and had some carbs.

He's big on the no carb approach since it's worked well for him before, but I try and remind him that Weight Watchers worked well for him before too!  And that we can do together. 

I have been really impressed with his workout regimen however.  I think for him, that's pretty key to his weight loss.  And my guess is he needs a fill, but he's not convinced!

I need a new ticker showing weight gained

I checked the scale again this morning and it's three pounds up.  And instead of being in diet mode today, I'm just depressed (I doubt in reaction to the scale), and instead, I just want to eat.

This is that oh so familiar terrain of my "just get through the day" or even the moment food mantra.

[//sound of me chompering on a McDonald's apple pie.]

I'm being a wah wah baby (as Alex likes to say)

Alex's favorite expression is wah wah baby.  Like when I'm complaining or in general unhappy with the world.

So today I'm just in a funk.  No real explanation.  I'm sure working from home isn't helping.  I need to be more disciplined about working at my desk, wearing proper work clothes, etc.

I got up and showered as I do every single day.  I haven't been so bad as to just work from the bed (ha!) but I chose my velour pants and snuggled up on the couch with my laptop all day.  Why this would make a huge difference mentally over working at my desk is crazy.  But it matters.

And I knew that and did it anyway because I was just oh so comfortable on the couch.  Me and comfortable don't always work well together.  I need a little discipline and discomfort in my life it seems!

That's definitely a metaphor for my food and exercise habits too.

Inconsistent band

I know most of you out there have experienced this.  Last night, I wasn't even feeling the band.  I'm starting a new kick cooking and eating healthier at home.  Had my dinner with proteins and veg and was shocked that I wasn't full after.  I kept saying I was "hungry" though that's a relative thing.

But I was a smidge hungry so I had more, and then a little more after that.  I got satisfied though never full.

Now, I'm trying to eat a couple of strawberries and I'm full.  I needed this restriction last night!

As I approach my bandiversary

I need to reflect on my forthcoming bandiversary this summer.  To me, that is the beginning of the liquid diet pre-surgery which was mid-July.

So basically, in 3 months, it will be 1 year since this all began.  And honestly, I'm not at all happy with where I am in this process.  The band works,  but I find lots and lots of ways to sabotage myself.

The truth is that I only lost weight in the first 2 months.  Much of it in the fast before the surgery.  It's true that I've had an obscene amount of change this year, but I'm kind of tired of excuses.  I see only more change coming in terms of wanting to get pregnant and have kids.  So now's the time lady!!

So what will it take for me to feel like I've had some success this year?    A MINIMUM of 50 lbs lost. Really, I expected to have lost 100.  But that's not where it's at for me.  So if I'm going to be real, at least 50 down is where it's at.  That's 20 more pounds in 3 months.

Perhaps I need to get back on that pre-surgery diet where I could eat veg and broth and protein shakes.  All those fresh greens were so wonderful!

Am the only one who keeps eating the same foods even though I get stuck on them?

Speaking of getting stuck (my post on eggs yesterday), am I the only one who just keeps on eating the same foods even though I get stuck (a bit) on them when I eat them?

Mostly, it's breads.  But since I just sit up straight and give it a minute and it usually passes, I haven't given up those foods altogether.

Am I the only one?

I was thinking back on some past comments suggesting that perhaps I wasn't getting more fills because that would mean I couldn't keep eating the foods I wanted to.  I took that comment in the spirit it was intended, as helpful and supportive.  At the time, I don't think that was true.  I was just appropriately full.  However, now, that might just be the case.  I like that I'm "normal" when I go out to eat with people and it's not all that obvious that I'm "different."  I may eat less than others but I don't feel like an outcast or anything!

But the compromise there is that I'm giving up potential weight loss in order to keep eating, bottom line.  Time to challenge myself a bit more!

A commitment to VLOG

I've decided that pre-haircut and the mini-makeover I have planned for myself, I will VLOG.  I'm putting that out there rather than actually do it, so that I'm held accountable.  I want video of my "BEFORE" -- meaning that I have NOT given up on losing more weight!  A little part of me thought maybe I had.

I'm not doing it tonight however, as I'm still suffering from shingles, and just don't want to make all of you gals suffer through that!

I'm thinking next week, when I'm healed up, pre-hair cut, would be the perfect time!

Time to suck it up and find a new Dr here in Texas

I haven't been in a hurry to find a new bariatric center here in Austin since I didn't really feel like I need a fill.  I get stuck often enough which was making me feel like I have enough restriction for the time being.

However, in reading the blogs lately, I'm thinking I could use one given all that I'm able to eat.  Plus, of course, I know the more you go in for support post surgery, the more successful you are.  It might even be worthwhile for me to go to some support meetings.  I'm going to look them up and see how I feel about that! 

I don't remember exactly where I am fill-wise, but I think it could be as high as 8cc's out of 10.  Of course, there's that mysteriously disappearing fill syndrome, so who knows if I'm still that full up!

I have actually asked for and more recently gotten recommendations on Austin lap-band doctors.  So I have a good place to start: the Austin Bariatric Clinic.  Dr. K actually warned me that some surgeons won't want to take on new patients post surgery, but hopefully since this is a whole clinic dedicated to the cause, that won't be a problem. 

Gotta take care of me!

(Whew!  Posted this to the right blog this time!)

OOPS!  Got the recommendation wrong.  Just found the paper from the doctor.  It's actually http://www.southwestbariatric.com/

Oops! Just posted about my BAND on my OTHER blog

So only a select few know about my band, so I had a BIT of a SHOCK when i just accidentally posted about my band on my other blog, a little dabble!

THAT got deleted quick.

That post about a new lap-band doctor here in Austin to come here in a few.

However, I did just do a Dabble post on the new haircut I plan to get.  I was inspired watching the all-day Project Runway marathon since I'm home sick today.  I'm not caught up yet though so I don't know who wins. 

I'm going to need a nice new cut, color (and preferably wardrobe boost) to shake off the ugly blahs from having shingles on my face!

Do you guys get stuck on eggs?

I'm totally into eggs these days.  Great protein, easy, always on hand, not too high in calorie.  However, I get frustrated because I'm always getting stuck on the darn things.

I guess I make them too dry.

Anyone else out there have this problem?  I've never read about this being a problem band food!  

I keep trying to undercook them but when I see them runny I feel the urge to cook them longer and end up making them as I always do.

I also add hot sauce sometimes but this is never enough "sauce" to prevent them from sticking.

Exercise! Walking Town Lake

Even being sick with shingles, hanging around the house too much depresses me (especially since I work from home).  I'm all about getting some sun (more for mental health than anything else), so every day I have to have all the blinds open, and I just have to get outside.

The dermatologist I saw after the doctor actually recommended fresh air and sun for helping to heal, so there's another added benefit.  Plus I just need distractions from the shingles, otherwise I get a bit crazy.

One of the reasons we chose our current apartment is that there's so much green space around us where we can walk the dogs and be out and about.  Pretty much every morning, Alex and I walk the dogs together, but we don't always go over to the lake.  So that's our new plan.  Consistently.  We're already up and out walking the dogs together, so why not make it proper exercise by walking the dogs in a loop around the lake.  The dogs certainly love it.  I need to figure out how to work the gym into my schedule after that, but one thing at a time so I don't get overwhelmed and bail on too much change.

I found a map of the lake above. For a bigger version click here.  We're on the north side of the lake, so for now we start by going across the First St. bridge, then over past the dog park and back up the Lamar bridge and home.  That's a mile and a half.  Not terribly long, but a good start, and manageable time wise in the morning before work.  According to the google pedometer, I burned 277 calories doing it.  And based on the map above, we can add legs to the walk as we progress.

The other change is cooking more at home.  This weekend, I'm going to do a proper grocery shopping trip for all the staples and plan out my meals.  Especially my lunches!

Every step counts.

I have some pics of our walk around the lake from another morning that I'll post later.  It's a good start to the day!

Shingles

I've mentioned any number of times that I eat when I am stressed.  Lots of us do.  Well on this most recent trip to NYC for business, I was super stressed out and actually came back having lost a smidge of weight.  However, the other thing I came back with was Shingles.  Supposedly, at my age, brought on by stress.

The part that of course bothers me is that it's on my face...and my head.  

Lovely!

In my review at work, my boss said to work less.  Problem is that he didn't say what he was going to do to specifically reduce my workload.  

I must admit, the stress from having all this crap on my face is making me want to eat! ; (

I sucked it up and weighed myself

So I've been more active since moving to Texas.  Walk, walk, walk...  I have some pics I need to share of Town Lake.  It's just so pretty outside that I love being out and about.

The counter to that though is that with all this travel and working like a dog and just my very nature, I have been eating out for most meals.  We need to just suck it up and go full on shopping and start cooking again!

I keep telling myself to at least write everything I eat down, even when I go overboard.  But then I get caught up in work and only end up with a half days calories documented.

The other thing I hadn't done was weigh myself.  We packed up the scale in Feb and only just unpacked it recently.  So this morning, I got on the scale.  Up 6 pounds in three months.  Not the right direction.  Surprisingly I'm okay with it, but not sure i should be.  I guess maybe I thought it would be worse.

Time to update the sidebar tickers!  I'll have to give some thought to what I can do to change my attitude mentally.  The band is working in the literal sense but my head is the same as it ever was.

Trip to the Emergency Room!

Hopefully I can share this warning with those of you out there with high blood pressure or loved ones with high bp.

After a lovely morning walking around the lake earlier this week, Alex and I talked about lunch and he said he wasn't hungry.  Then we ran a quick errand, and he was saying he felt nauseous.  Got back to the apartment and he started throwing up.

I just assumed that he had a stomach bug but after about an hour he asked to go to the emergency room.  He said he'd just never felt like that before.  I have to admit when I thought it was a stomach bug, it seemed extreme to go to the hospital, but I'm so glad that we did considering how things turned out!

He's fine now, but it turned out that his blood pressure was up near 200, and that was causing intense headaches and nausea.  Given the headache, they did a cat scan just as a precaution, but he was all clear.

Alex had high blood pressure problems in the past but after the band, it had gone back to normal and our general practitioner had said he could go off his RX. Obviously, without medication, it had gone back up, but he didn't know.

We followed up post-ER visit with our new doctor who gave him a stronger prescription, and his numbers are lower already.  The doctor said to take it easy and be cautious with the walks and exercise but that he can continue walking, etc.moderately.

We also got him an at home blood pressure monitor though it's pretty unreliable in its readings.  Might need to try a wrist one instead.

Bottom line, is that high blood pressure can sneak up on you and you have to take it seriously!  I certainly will from now on!

Hanging out poolside

Today was such a gorgeous day I decided to go for a swim in the late afternoon.  I've been back in Austin since Wednesday and am exploring everything now. I figured that since it had been in the 80s all day, the water would be nice and warm.

Turns out that I was wrong!  It was rather chilly.  Even after getting in and trying to get used to it.

The pool area is just lovely however.  So much so that I even got Alex to hang out there for a while.  I'll definitely be back.

The gym is down next to the pool as well, though I haven't done much more than scope it out.

We were the only ones in the pool area.  There's a pic of me below.  I wasn't all that shy in my swimsuit until Alex reminded me that alllll of the apartments above look down on the pool!