Saturday, February 20, 2010

My most recent fill and addictive eating

Those of you who follow this blog know that I struggle with poor eating habits or emotional eating. And really its more than that. There are times when I'm full, and I just keep eating because I'm seeking something more than taste or sustenance from the food. And that's where the band doesn't fix the problem. The mental reasons we eat. I watched something on TV last night about addictive eating and that of course is the heart of it.

You can't go cold turkey, you have to eat something, so it's a challenge. And if I'm honest, I basically just stopped taking responsibility for my eating for a while post band, because I thought, hey, isn't the band supposed to be doing the work, not me?

I had a fill before LA, and it really put me at a sweet spot and that helped a bit to get my head straight. Unless the band loosens a bit, I definitely would not want any more of a fill. I can eat but not too much. I get stuck on occasion but don't really have any problems with PBs etc. I think I'm in a good place.

It's been less than in weeks past, but there still have been occasions where I just want to binge basically. Binge is a relative thing of course. I don't mean shove food in my face as fast and as much as I can. But I do mean getting soda, chips, and candy bar and chowing down.

I tend to want to do this when I get home from work. But what happens if I'm already full, I shouldn't still want to eat that junk. But I do anyway. And in fact, it's hard to talk myself out of it. It's just in my head that it'll make me feel better. And it does, that's the problem.

Alex had a large fill this week, and it did a lot to help limit how much he can eat. It's good for he and I to both be on the same page about meals, etc. So that will hopefully help us both be good influences on the other.

I wonder about this addictive eating thing. I expected all the band blogs to deal with this issue very regularly, but I only see a few bloggers talk about patterns similar to mine.

Curious how many of you out there deal with these same issues and how they affect your weight loss success.


  1. I have found if I'm good all week, then I let my hair down on the weekends.. Mind you, I do seem to gain a little then..not much - just a touch, but it seems to fly off again during the week (I'm talking about maybe 200-300 grams.. just a smidge!) Maybe if you save your 'naughty' foods for the weekend, that might help and gives you something to look forward to. I don't know - just a suggestion :)

  2. Ooooh, girl, you know I have this problem. I agree with you, I find it hard to believe that so many band bloggers got to their pre-surgery weight without having some some of disordered eating.

    I used to binge, a lot. I have found several occasions where I have done that post band, in a different amount, but with the same psychological implications. The number one thing that helps me with this is blogging what I eat EVERY SINGLE DAY! I am sure just recording it would be helpful too, but I really suggest you try to commit to a week of blogging your eating. Knowing my blog buddies will be reading what I am eating makes me stop.

    The other thing that has helped me is to try and put things off. I say to myself, ok, self, you want some chips (and yes, I am very very familiar with the chips/candy bar/soda combo!) and you can have some chips. You can have them in one hour. Just go do something else until then. And sometimes I forget about it. Rarely, but sometimes! My number one tip for avoiding binge eating is blogging my eating.

    As for the banded couple is really good when you are on the same wave length as your partner. We don't bring junk food home, period. However the one thing that annoys me is that some things that I would like to have in the house like milk and whole grain bread/english muffins (these are things that I can eat in moderate amounts and can be part of a health band diet) are trigger foods for Eric, and he will drink a whole container of milk or eat tons of bread if it is there, so I have agreed not to have it in the house.

  3. Thank you Yana and Cara! It's great to have your support and know that you get it!

  4. I know I struggle to with emotional eating and it's been sneaking in a little bit here and there lately. I have been a binge-er my whole life, so it's not going to stop in 8 months. I often think I need to get some therapy while I'm still successfully losing with the band and not wait until I have trouble. It's a tough one, so thanks for writing about it.

  5. I struggled with emotional eating my entire life as well. And in the beginning, with the band, the same issues crept back up, and I found myself repeating the same patterns of binge-like eating. But I have to say, right about when I got good restriction things started to click for me. It took a lot of thinking and conscious eating. Recognizing when I was about to binge, and recongizing that I did not need to do it. Also, giving myself permission to have what I want - if I'm really hungry. It helps to not make foods totally off limits, paradoxically.

    Now, it is as if that part of my brain has been removed - the compulsive eating part. I think it just takes a while, but I want you to know there is hope. I guess my best advice would be to get really honest with yourself, and give yourself permission to do other pleasurable things - like reading or surfing the web, getting a pedicure, etc. Realize that if you are not eating, you have time to do many other things that will make you happy. That is a simplistic way to look at it, I know. Just keep working on it. You can overcome this.

  6. Thank you Gen and Linda! It's so great to hear from people. I really appreciate your support!

  7. Heather,
    I am still struggling with this. I dont know if it is binge eating but every night around 9pm I struggle with the snacking...I do so good all day nad then think ok I need some more food so I eat the wrong things. I recognize this but have not found a solid solution yet!!

  8. O man, I struggle with this every day of my life. I still want the good feeling eating used to give me and I can't seem to get that high anymore. Some days are good... some are REAL bad!

  9. I struggle with this but I find that I am not as hard on myself anymore as I look at what I have binged on and the amount and it is not even close to the amount I would have prior to banding.

    I also find that the more time that passes the less I am bingeing. These are lifelong habits so they are going to need lots of time to change :-)

    I don't find myself as mentally punishing as I use to be so that helps to break the cycle a little and if I get too out of control there is nothing like a gain on the scales to get me to look more closely at what I am eating.

  10. It is certainly a journey! You just have to recognize patterns and make adjustments a you go along. You're doing great with that! ~Mandy