Post-Op Follow Up with Surgeon

So today was my one-week, post-op follow up with my surgeon at NYU. First was the esophagram which was fine and then the appointment with my surgeon.

When I saw the surgeon present at the orientation, and when we talked to her briefly afterward, she seemed fine. She also seemed fine when I had my pre-op appointment with her.

However, I did take note in my pre-op visit when she asked me to remind her later where she was suggesting putting the port (It's different for me since I'll want to get pregnant later).

I guess I assumed I had a file for that kind of info.

I tried to just forget when she asked me immediately before surgery to remind her how she had said she was going to do the surgery (as in the placement of the incisions). I asked her if she was kidding, but she just asked the question again. So no, she wasn't kidding. Again, don't I have a file with that info?!?

So all of that I was able to forget about. However, today, I was definitely put off. I had a few concerns and she just rushed through them and cut me off when I was trying to talk. I thought through it again because I was cranky, but I stand by my position on this. Her bedside manner is LAME. Plus she never seems to remember me. Of course, that's a common thing with doctors.

I was most irritated when she kept poking the incision over my port trying to prove a point about where the port is. First of all, I know that's where the port is. Second of all she could tell me instead of poking around the incision. I asked her three times to stop because it hurt, and she just said I'm trying to show you where the port is.

DUH!

Anyway, I didn't get much help with the pain I've been having in my stomach. Finally, I got her to suggest Prilosec. Originally, she just said it's impossible that I'm having heartburn.

BUT, the x-rays were fine and I'm doing fine physically...now I just have to figure out what's up with all my anxiety!

Another not-great day

Today was another difficult day. I hope this is the hardest part because this week has been difficult. Today I was just in the same bad mood from yesterday, and i had a knot in my stomach all day.

Tightness around the port/diaphragm; it felt like the fluid wouldn't go down -- but it did. Then later in the day I got the worst heartburn and the incisions felt hot again and I wasn't as mobile as usual.

At that point I was done with my meetings at work, so I just packed it in for the day and came home and slept.

I feel better now. I have an appointment with the surgeon in the morning as well as another esophagram to check on the band. Not looking forward to that commute over to NYU however!

Reality, frustration and emotional eating...

Okay, so one more vent. You know what makes this harder than a normal diet? (The thin liquid diet specifically) It's so extreme. There's no small amount of any food you might find satisfying or soothing. The liquid diet removes all emotional eating from the equation, so even if I'm not hungry and even if I don't have a specific emotional crisis to get through, and even if I am not eating because I'm bored, I'm still left unsatisfied.

And really it's way more than that. For most of us who eat for emotional reasons, it doesn't have to be a big binge because we're upset. It's the small little comforts throughout the day that ease the tension. Even when we don't realize we're doing it.

So the worst and hardest part of this is that without all those little "releases" throughout the day, I'm left just tired and cranky and unreasonable.

Imagine how you feel after a long day on your feet and you haven't eaten. You know those days where you're with friends walking and walking and no one can find or agree on a restaurant. And after a while of being polite and nice to each other, you just start getting testy and you're tired and your temper starts to show.

That's how I feel sometimes. The problem is that I can't go sit down at that restaurant and have that meal. The protein shake is small and just absolutely does not provide that relief. I don't get that sigh that you get after a meal, not even that breath of release before you get full. Any of you long-time dieters probably know what I'm talking about (stop eating after your first sigh...)

But I'm also not physically hungry, and I recognize that.

Instead I'm left to find some other sort of salve. I'm tired so exercise isn't it, I'm worn out, talking isn't it, not sleep, not journaling, not tv and not the computer. Not even shopping shockingly enough. I was a little worried it would be.

From all my research before opting in on this procedure, I know this is that one big bad thing most lap-band patients struggle with! I just haven't read what the solution is...

Any words of wisdom from people who have been banded?

First day back to work

Today, my first day back to work, ended up being a long day. I was as low key as possible, especially on the commute, but I do have a bit of a walk on top of the train ride, and there were some stairs. (They've said to be careful with the stairs.)

Once I actually got to work I felt a bit tired and run down, but I managed. However now, after work, I'm just pooped and definitely cranky and a bit down in the dumps.

The day itself was fine. I was functional, and I didn't worry too much about food. But I was definitely wanting the day to be over!

On the way home, I noticed that the area around the incisions is hot and feels a bit feverish. I'm pretty much just going to crash out after taking the dogs out and having my "dinner" shake.

My boss called later in the day (she's been out of town on vacation) just as I was leaving and was checking in on things, asked about the surgery, then was asking casually whether I came into work the end of last week. I'm sure this didn't help my mood as she specifically told me in advance that I could have the time off as did our director (she had me ask him too since she was going to be out of town). We had agreed on two days of no work for the surgery on Tues and Wed and then Thurs and Fri working from home if I felt up to it. I did remind her that this was the original plan. Anyway, it definitely bothered me that she brought it up, as she can be weird about any of us taking time off -- needless to say I took it as a criticism. I told her previously what the surgery was for, and she casually mentioned that these should be "vacation" days too, but they are definitely going in my file as sick leave days.

I'm sure I'm overreacting, but my non-food-eating brain isn't being entirely rational at this point in the day. I'm definitely stressing out way easier than usual.

So I kind've regret having told her, but on the other hand, our director, her boss, I didn't tell, though he knows I was out for surgery. But it ends up being weird having conversations about the surgery (how am I doing, etc) and leaving this big gap and just not saying what it was for. Mostly, I think it'll just soon be pretty obvious which is why I did tell my boss. I just wasn't comfortable with lying. And when I tried to just be vague, she was full of questions, so when it came down to it, I had to either lie or be truthful, no middle ground. Seems as though there would be complications no matter which option you choose!

Curious how others handled their situations at work.

Post Op Recovery has been a series of TV Marathons

I rented a handful of movies, but instead post op recovery has been a series of TV marathons. First Monk, then In Plain Sight (which i hadn't watched before, but like), NCIS, and now Law & Order Criminal Intent. Looks like we've basically just stayed put on the USA network.

The TV is fine and I'm not overly tempted by the food commercials as I don't have much of an appetite, but I must admit I'm bored. (I've been at home for five days!) And being bored does make me want to munch, out of lack of anything to do rather than anything else. What I'd really love are some nuts or popcorn or chips.

Mom left this morning, I slept half the day, and I'm back to the computer and TV.

Physically, I feel fine even without any of the hydrocodone they prescribed me. I've surprised myself that I do get tired when we went on walks with the dogs this weekend. So my stamina isn't back yet, but I'm not in pain at all. The gas pretty much was gone after the first day (That was worst in the hospital). I had some soreness into day two and since then the only bother has been a little bit of heartburn. I have a twinge here and there at the incision site if I overdo it but otherwise I'm all good. Just waiting for my full on energy to come back.

Tomorrow I have my daily commute which involves a walk and stairs on both ends on the subway, so we'll see how that goes. Definitely taking the local train rather than the express so that I can be sure and get a seat, plus, less stairs.

Heart Bandages

Check out these fun heart bandages my surgeon used!

The one shown is the big one, but there were actually four more small ones, each with a heart embossed on it. Five total incisions.

I actually just took them off yesterday, as instructed. The steri-strips that are left will dissolve on their own. The incisions have started to itch a bit too which i guess is a good thing!

(Who knew I'd ever post a photo of my stomach on the internet!)

My Lap-Band Procedure

So I had my Lap-Band put in yesterday, and so far it's a success! These pics are of me in the hospital afterwards.

As I've mentioned it was through NYU's Program for Surgical Weight Loss. I had an appointment to be at Tisch Hospital at 6am, and my surgery was at 7.30 a.m.

It was a bit weird because I actually walked into the operating room rather than being wheeled in. Mostly, I was super excited beforehand. The only thing that made me even slightly nervous was all the people in the OR and the medical student who asked if he could observe.

I wasn't entirely comfortable with that, but I said okay.

And I do have a weird thing about the IV in my hand, and it didn't help that they had trouble getting the needle in. The last thing I remember before surgery was saying "no, no, no" and shaking my head as they tried to get the IV in, but the IV had the medication so that kicked in pretty quickly.

Then I woke up with some pain from the gas they pump in for the surgery. One of the doctors said some of my pain was likely from a bundle of nerves that were probably disturbed near the where the lap-band was placed. (NOTE: The surgeon strongly disagreed with the other doctor's assessment when I had my check up...)

That secondary pain has lessened a lot. I'm also pretty horse from the tubing they put down my throat. My stomach isn't very sore in general.

But I was up walking around after a few hours and can get up and down on my own. I'm probably one of the few people who would've preferred to stay in the hospital. The bed was just easier to maneuver. But I could've gone home as early as 4pm that day since things went so well. Instead I opted to leave around 8pm.

I've mostly been sleeping since I got home.

More later.