Time To Fess Up

Okay, so I totally cheated on my liquid diet. Well, as much as one can given that my stomach really isn't ready yet for anything other than liquids.

I was so distraught last night that I decided it just wasn't worth being that upset when just a couple hundred calories might make me feel better.

So i dug out some little bit of ice cream in the back of the freezer that somehow managed to not get tossed during the big fridge purge. (I never made it to the freezer). Soooo, I had a scoop of ice cream mixed with some skim milk for a very watery vanilla milk shake. Not the best milk shake ever but for the moment it did the trick for less than 200 calories.

However, at this point in the game, I don't think the fix is that simple. So then again, this morning I was still in a rotten mood, so on the way to work I got a tall "skinny" mocha frappaccuno from starbucks. It helped. Was super cranky in my first meeting but now I'm finally feeling that sigh of relief. Again 280 calories for the whole thing. I decided if that's the only bad thing I add to my diet today, I'm okay. Not that it's not a slippery slope.

The amazing thing was that after having less than 1/4 of it, I was full! I haven't had that much of anything to eat or drink since I had the band put in to be able to notice. So instead of drinking the rest, I put it in the fridge to have throughout the day.

First day back to work

Today, my first day back to work, ended up being a long day. I was as low key as possible, especially on the commute, but I do have a bit of a walk on top of the train ride, and there were some stairs. (They've said to be careful with the stairs.)

Once I actually got to work I felt a bit tired and run down, but I managed. However now, after work, I'm just pooped and definitely cranky and a bit down in the dumps.

The day itself was fine. I was functional, and I didn't worry too much about food. But I was definitely wanting the day to be over!

On the way home, I noticed that the area around the incisions is hot and feels a bit feverish. I'm pretty much just going to crash out after taking the dogs out and having my "dinner" shake.

My boss called later in the day (she's been out of town on vacation) just as I was leaving and was checking in on things, asked about the surgery, then was asking casually whether I came into work the end of last week. I'm sure this didn't help my mood as she specifically told me in advance that I could have the time off as did our director (she had me ask him too since she was going to be out of town). We had agreed on two days of no work for the surgery on Tues and Wed and then Thurs and Fri working from home if I felt up to it. I did remind her that this was the original plan. Anyway, it definitely bothered me that she brought it up, as she can be weird about any of us taking time off -- needless to say I took it as a criticism. I told her previously what the surgery was for, and she casually mentioned that these should be "vacation" days too, but they are definitely going in my file as sick leave days.

I'm sure I'm overreacting, but my non-food-eating brain isn't being entirely rational at this point in the day. I'm definitely stressing out way easier than usual.

So I kind've regret having told her, but on the other hand, our director, her boss, I didn't tell, though he knows I was out for surgery. But it ends up being weird having conversations about the surgery (how am I doing, etc) and leaving this big gap and just not saying what it was for. Mostly, I think it'll just soon be pretty obvious which is why I did tell my boss. I just wasn't comfortable with lying. And when I tried to just be vague, she was full of questions, so when it came down to it, I had to either lie or be truthful, no middle ground. Seems as though there would be complications no matter which option you choose!

Curious how others handled their situations at work.

Mmmm....Tomato Soup

I'm finally eating, well drinking actually since I'm on the liquid diet. No veggies this time. Only thin liquids.

My appetite isn't entirely back, but I'm okay to eat. And I am staying to about 800 calories a day.

Just got back from the grocery store with mom. She was nice enough to carry the groceries back. I decided to try some new soup, and since tomato soup is on the "approved" list, I tried this V8 tomato soup shown above.

Yum! I'm sure some of it is that it's the first thing I've had all week beyond protein shakes or vitamin water, but it's really good soup. I just mixed it with a bit of lactaid skim milk to thin it out a bit...