Off to Lima Land

I am so ready to be on vacation already. I like New York, but all week, I've just wanted to get the hell out of here!

One more day and I'm gone. But i'm handing over my computer so I wont have blog access until I'm back from Peru in a little more than a week.

I've been looking at pics of Lima and Arequipa to get psyched up! Here's a little something from Lima above.

Blogland privacy

Catherine has a great post about band-privacy and bloggers. Despite the fact that we blog, many of us don't want others to know about our band. (For me, I've hidden this blog link on my profile, etc).

Catherine points out the importance of maintaining confidentiality if ever discussing a friend of colleague's blog. Very interesting.

http://chroniclesfrombandland.blogspot.com/2010/05/back-in-town-and-blog-etiquette.html

funky

Not in a good way. feeling a smidge bad funky. Last week ended 4 days of veggie extravaganza, 4 pounds down, but on day 5 I caved and that same morning was up 2 pounds. Lame.

In general, I definitely got a lift from the effort however.

I'm in NYC for work this week then directly from here, Alex and I are off to Peru! Yay! Vacation!

I'm hoping to just not gain this week and next and then do weight watchers after that.

I had to pack for both trips (one rolling backpack, SO proud of myself). I definitely felt like I was off on vacation, except I wasn't and had to go to work. Work isn't too tough but it's a week of long meetings.

Not sure why but I'm just a bit off. Lack of interest. I'm fine at work but dont feel like doing anything. Even anything fun. Oh well.

I am looking forward to next week in Peru. Though I miss my pups!

And one more pound down for good measure

There's nothing like losing weight to motivate you to stay on track!

I had a wretched night's sleep with these stitches in my head and on any other day I'd be off for a sugary frappe and pastry, but instead, I got on the scale and was thrilled to see another pound down.

Now, I can guess that the reason this has been so successful is because I was being SO bad before. But since I was so out of control with my eating, this was just the thing I needed to change my
mindset.

Another pound down and a little outpatient surgery

I woke up to find myself another pound down today. Yay!

Otherwise, it hasn't been a fab day. I had a very minor surgical procedure this morning and now I have 8 stitches on my scalp and two very nasty looking scars. And they shaved a wee bit of my hair. This was all to remove two very large cysts. Ew!

They cut me up and sent me home and after having stayed up super late for an important work project I had due this afternoon and getting up relatively early for me for the procedure, I'm pooped. Plus I have no medicine for the post procedure pain. Which is fine, but it is super tender and I have a really wicked headache even after taking a couple of excedrin migraine. Normally just one does the trick.

Alex had driven me to the appointment and back and afterwards, he was like, "you want to drive through and get something? You've been so good and you deserve it since you just had surgery." OH NO! So this morning I said no but after work, with my raging headache, I broke down and had a frappe minus the whipped cream. And a bean burrito. I'm still within my current low daily calories window, but it did kind of blow my whole veggie extravaganza/no sugar/no carbs thing. Depending on what I do for the rest of the day, that will likely put me over a bit.

Bell pepper in a hole

Mmm...had these for breakfast, minus the yolks and without any of the optional bread in the recipe.

I did baby red bell peppers however so they were smaller. The recipe post also suggests doing an cooked ring of onion with the egg inside. That was the BEST. The onion really complimented the egg flavor.

In general, I miss some of the sugar and carbs on my veggie extravaganza, but I *love* what I am able to eat. YUM!

Recipe and photo above from Gina's Recipes. Definitely a favorite website for healthy recipes.

Super Full

Just one more reminder that the band friggin works in terms of making me full! I had half a can of beans with salsa, light sour cream and a smidge of cheese. And wow, I'm full!

I'm fine for now but my head doesn't entirely accept my stomach's conclusion that no more food is necessary!

The great thing about this week's veggie extravaganza (even if it's beans in this case) is that this type of eating allows me to eat so much and still be so low in calorie count!

2 pounds down for cranky pants

Not sure why but I am a TOTAL cranky pants today. Maybe it's the results of yesterdays diet and lack of sugar. It feels more hormonal than that. These are the days when I would normally just EATTTT but not today. I'm sticking with this.

I'm finding the biggest challenge is just that i'm really into my food being instant, grabbable and convenient and veggies dont allow a ton of that. I tried to eat quick carrots yesterday but got stuck so i had to steam them.

All I've had today was a skim half-caf hot coffee. I enjoyed half of it and didn't even want the rest. I don't really want to eat but the problem with that is that come lunch I'll be crazy ravenous so i have to avoid that.

The good news is that I'm 2 pounds down already! I'm sure not entirely from 1 day of dieting but whatever, I'll take it! I think maybe yesterday's 2 pounds up was a fluke, but I'm happy. I'm heading in the direction I wanted which is what this week is all about. A kick start and a break from my total sugar / carb addiction!

Dr. K was right!

Before I left NYC, when I saw Dr. Kurian and told her about our move, she mentioned to me that I might have trouble finding a doctor who would take patients who had already been banded. She said that some bariatric doctors prefer to take on follow up care only for their own patients.

My interpretation was that it just isn't profitable enough for them to handle maintenance.

There are a few lap-band places here in Austin, so I called the one that was recommended to me today to get an appointment for a fill, and I was told about their approval process.

The receptionist explained how the panel of doctors needs to see my paperwork and decide whether or not they'll accept me. She explained that since I haven't had problems since the surgery and since I had the surgery in NYC because I lived there at the time, that they would likely accept me. She added that mostly, they just don't want all the people going to Mexico for surgery (especially here in TX I guess?) ending up as their patients to take care of.

I was a bit shocked that she said that so openly! And in many ways it fits with what Dr. K had warned me about, though I guess I won't have a problem being approved.

She asked my pre-surgery and current weight and then said, oh yes, you really do need some follow up! : (

So now I have to put together my documentation for them and wait to be approved by their committee!

Veggie Extravaganza

Today was day 1 of 5 of my veggie extravaganza. I just needed a major kick start so my rules are all-vegetables plus a very limited amount of skinny proteins and protein shakes. I'm allowing a piece of fruit too as a treat.

I'm trying to stay at around 1000 calories a day so I'm counting calories too.

The twist is that I decided that I'd get into foodie-mode making the vegetable dishes. That's my challenge and what keeps my mind occupied. So today for lunch I made a lima bean, pea, onion and red pepper salad with a little balsamic and salt and pepper. SOO SOO good! I never would have thought of it except that a friend and I had a sample of something similar recently. I switched it up a bit. I'll post a link to the exact recipe on my other blog soon.

For an early dinner, I made a pasta- and oil-free version of this asparagus and mushroom dish with tomatoes, garlic, soy bacon crumbles, and a smidge of parmesan cheese.

I was doing really well until we went to run some errands and went to the grocery store. That really made me want to binge on cookies and sweets. So instead I got a sugar free fudge pop. Didn't totally do the trick and when i got home I found myself eating a little bit of peanut butter. But it's a protein and I kept it in my food count.

I just want to get rid of all the sugar and carbs in my system this week, lose a couple of pounds (this morning the scale was up ANOTHER 2 pounds since yesterday!), and just be in a better mindset. From there, I might start Weight Watchers when we're back from our NYC / Peru trips. Something I'm more likely to be able to maintain from here on out.

My first VLOG

My first VLOG. I meant to do it before the haircut, but oh wells! There was one particular vlogger whose before and after videos were so significant it was as though she wasn't even the same person. Her entire persona changed. Check it out here. I kind of want that in terms of how I carry my weight, etc.

So here's the "before." I'd be happy with even 50 or 55 more pounds down for an "after."

More to come on the veggie extravaganza I have planned this week to get back on track! I'm approaching it as a cooking challenge to make it more interesting. Check back for all my creative veggie meals.

And for those of you who read this post / watch my video, please leave a comment! It felt like a big deal doing a web video and I'd love to hear from you guys!

Being honest with the weight tracker

I mention in my VLOG that the scale is up. So to stay honest, I've finally updated my weight tracker on the right. Overall, I've gained back 15 pounds in the past 6 months. I'm still 25 pounds down however from my highest pre-surgery weight.

I seem to have landed at the same damn weight I always was. It's interesting how we settle in at certain weights. My clothes are tighter and I'm certainly not going up again in clothes sizes, so here's where I check myself and fix this.

UPDATE: Today the scale went up another 2 lbs since yesterday! Hopefully those are temporary be gone tomorrow pounds however...

Before and After HAIR

Sometimes my hair is a reflection of my mental state. Frizzy hair in a pony tail with bad roots = blah blah blah.

So I decided I was in need of a major shake up. I liked the short bob some of you might remember from earlier this year, but this time I wanted more change. Since my last major cut, it had grown out and was just overgrown. Before and after cut above. (Didn't get before and after cut and color! oops!)

So now I have bangs and an asymmetrical bob. Plus a new darker color. The lighter color I had was pretty brassy. I'm loving the new color and all my gray is covered!

Alex snapped this photo below of my brassy color and bad roots when we went strawberry picking. That was just the last straw!

I used to wear my hair like this in high school, so it was a bit of a flash back. The major difference is that my hair is so much thinner than before, especially the bangs, but I'm happy with it for now. It definitely served the purpose I needed it to in terms of change.

Time to Fess Up! I've been a bit out of control

When even Alex is making comments about my eating, I know it's time to suck it up and do something.  Some of it might be working from home too.  I just want to friggin eat ALL THE TIME!  Snack snack snack!

People talk about the band and healthy eating not being "a diet" and all, but for me, I just need rules and restrictions and some discipline otherwise it's an all out feeding frenzy.  All the weight is just creeping back on.  For whatever reason I have ZERO interest in exercise, but I was thinking it would be quite lovely to eat lots of fresh veg and just stick to that cooking and being creative.  I'm also going to give the Wii fit a shot.   

So I've decided to try and kick start myself and lose a few pounds so my clothes fit again(!) I'm going to do a variation of my pre-surgery diet.  Some protein shakes and lots and lots of fresh veg!  We went shopping today and I'm all stocked up.  

Usually once I get a start, that helps in making me want to do more exercise more.

A Better Day

Today was a very interesting day.  After my funky post yesterday, Alex and I had a long talk about our goals and then we watched the movie An Education.  Phenomenal movie by the way.  I think between those three things (and all the support from you guys), I was just thinking about change and what's good in life and that definitely put me in a better more proactive mood.

Working from home today was still a bit of a downer at first, though i was at my desk and in my work clothes once again.  I was a bit on the slow side but productive.

And Alex and I are recording what we eat.  Always a major thing for me in regards to success.  For me, writing down what i eat consistently works!

Alex has been working out a lot and he decided to try no-carb today but tonight he was just going crazy thinking about what he can't have.  Literally a bit crazy.  Have rarely seen him like this.  And that was after he caved a wee bit and had some carbs.

He's big on the no carb approach since it's worked well for him before, but I try and remind him that Weight Watchers worked well for him before too!  And that we can do together. 

I have been really impressed with his workout regimen however.  I think for him, that's pretty key to his weight loss.  And my guess is he needs a fill, but he's not convinced!

I need a new ticker showing weight gained

I checked the scale again this morning and it's three pounds up.  And instead of being in diet mode today, I'm just depressed (I doubt in reaction to the scale), and instead, I just want to eat.

This is that oh so familiar terrain of my "just get through the day" or even the moment food mantra.

[//sound of me chompering on a McDonald's apple pie.]

I'm being a wah wah baby (as Alex likes to say)

Alex's favorite expression is wah wah baby.  Like when I'm complaining or in general unhappy with the world.

So today I'm just in a funk.  No real explanation.  I'm sure working from home isn't helping.  I need to be more disciplined about working at my desk, wearing proper work clothes, etc.

I got up and showered as I do every single day.  I haven't been so bad as to just work from the bed (ha!) but I chose my velour pants and snuggled up on the couch with my laptop all day.  Why this would make a huge difference mentally over working at my desk is crazy.  But it matters.

And I knew that and did it anyway because I was just oh so comfortable on the couch.  Me and comfortable don't always work well together.  I need a little discipline and discomfort in my life it seems!

That's definitely a metaphor for my food and exercise habits too.

Inconsistent band

I know most of you out there have experienced this.  Last night, I wasn't even feeling the band.  I'm starting a new kick cooking and eating healthier at home.  Had my dinner with proteins and veg and was shocked that I wasn't full after.  I kept saying I was "hungry" though that's a relative thing.

But I was a smidge hungry so I had more, and then a little more after that.  I got satisfied though never full.

Now, I'm trying to eat a couple of strawberries and I'm full.  I needed this restriction last night!

As I approach my bandiversary

I need to reflect on my forthcoming bandiversary this summer.  To me, that is the beginning of the liquid diet pre-surgery which was mid-July.

So basically, in 3 months, it will be 1 year since this all began.  And honestly, I'm not at all happy with where I am in this process.  The band works,  but I find lots and lots of ways to sabotage myself.

The truth is that I only lost weight in the first 2 months.  Much of it in the fast before the surgery.  It's true that I've had an obscene amount of change this year, but I'm kind of tired of excuses.  I see only more change coming in terms of wanting to get pregnant and have kids.  So now's the time lady!!

So what will it take for me to feel like I've had some success this year?    A MINIMUM of 50 lbs lost. Really, I expected to have lost 100.  But that's not where it's at for me.  So if I'm going to be real, at least 50 down is where it's at.  That's 20 more pounds in 3 months.

Perhaps I need to get back on that pre-surgery diet where I could eat veg and broth and protein shakes.  All those fresh greens were so wonderful!

Am the only one who keeps eating the same foods even though I get stuck on them?

Speaking of getting stuck (my post on eggs yesterday), am I the only one who just keeps on eating the same foods even though I get stuck (a bit) on them when I eat them?

Mostly, it's breads.  But since I just sit up straight and give it a minute and it usually passes, I haven't given up those foods altogether.

Am I the only one?

I was thinking back on some past comments suggesting that perhaps I wasn't getting more fills because that would mean I couldn't keep eating the foods I wanted to.  I took that comment in the spirit it was intended, as helpful and supportive.  At the time, I don't think that was true.  I was just appropriately full.  However, now, that might just be the case.  I like that I'm "normal" when I go out to eat with people and it's not all that obvious that I'm "different."  I may eat less than others but I don't feel like an outcast or anything!

But the compromise there is that I'm giving up potential weight loss in order to keep eating, bottom line.  Time to challenge myself a bit more!

A commitment to VLOG

I've decided that pre-haircut and the mini-makeover I have planned for myself, I will VLOG.  I'm putting that out there rather than actually do it, so that I'm held accountable.  I want video of my "BEFORE" -- meaning that I have NOT given up on losing more weight!  A little part of me thought maybe I had.

I'm not doing it tonight however, as I'm still suffering from shingles, and just don't want to make all of you gals suffer through that!

I'm thinking next week, when I'm healed up, pre-hair cut, would be the perfect time!

Time to suck it up and find a new Dr here in Texas

I haven't been in a hurry to find a new bariatric center here in Austin since I didn't really feel like I need a fill.  I get stuck often enough which was making me feel like I have enough restriction for the time being.

However, in reading the blogs lately, I'm thinking I could use one given all that I'm able to eat.  Plus, of course, I know the more you go in for support post surgery, the more successful you are.  It might even be worthwhile for me to go to some support meetings.  I'm going to look them up and see how I feel about that! 

I don't remember exactly where I am fill-wise, but I think it could be as high as 8cc's out of 10.  Of course, there's that mysteriously disappearing fill syndrome, so who knows if I'm still that full up!

I have actually asked for and more recently gotten recommendations on Austin lap-band doctors.  So I have a good place to start: the Austin Bariatric Clinic.  Dr. K actually warned me that some surgeons won't want to take on new patients post surgery, but hopefully since this is a whole clinic dedicated to the cause, that won't be a problem. 

Gotta take care of me!

(Whew!  Posted this to the right blog this time!)

OOPS!  Got the recommendation wrong.  Just found the paper from the doctor.  It's actually http://www.southwestbariatric.com/

Oops! Just posted about my BAND on my OTHER blog

So only a select few know about my band, so I had a BIT of a SHOCK when i just accidentally posted about my band on my other blog, a little dabble!

THAT got deleted quick.

That post about a new lap-band doctor here in Austin to come here in a few.

However, I did just do a Dabble post on the new haircut I plan to get.  I was inspired watching the all-day Project Runway marathon since I'm home sick today.  I'm not caught up yet though so I don't know who wins. 

I'm going to need a nice new cut, color (and preferably wardrobe boost) to shake off the ugly blahs from having shingles on my face!

Do you guys get stuck on eggs?

I'm totally into eggs these days.  Great protein, easy, always on hand, not too high in calorie.  However, I get frustrated because I'm always getting stuck on the darn things.

I guess I make them too dry.

Anyone else out there have this problem?  I've never read about this being a problem band food!  

I keep trying to undercook them but when I see them runny I feel the urge to cook them longer and end up making them as I always do.

I also add hot sauce sometimes but this is never enough "sauce" to prevent them from sticking.

Exercise! Walking Town Lake

Even being sick with shingles, hanging around the house too much depresses me (especially since I work from home).  I'm all about getting some sun (more for mental health than anything else), so every day I have to have all the blinds open, and I just have to get outside.

The dermatologist I saw after the doctor actually recommended fresh air and sun for helping to heal, so there's another added benefit.  Plus I just need distractions from the shingles, otherwise I get a bit crazy.

One of the reasons we chose our current apartment is that there's so much green space around us where we can walk the dogs and be out and about.  Pretty much every morning, Alex and I walk the dogs together, but we don't always go over to the lake.  So that's our new plan.  Consistently.  We're already up and out walking the dogs together, so why not make it proper exercise by walking the dogs in a loop around the lake.  The dogs certainly love it.  I need to figure out how to work the gym into my schedule after that, but one thing at a time so I don't get overwhelmed and bail on too much change.

I found a map of the lake above. For a bigger version click here.  We're on the north side of the lake, so for now we start by going across the First St. bridge, then over past the dog park and back up the Lamar bridge and home.  That's a mile and a half.  Not terribly long, but a good start, and manageable time wise in the morning before work.  According to the google pedometer, I burned 277 calories doing it.  And based on the map above, we can add legs to the walk as we progress.

The other change is cooking more at home.  This weekend, I'm going to do a proper grocery shopping trip for all the staples and plan out my meals.  Especially my lunches!

Every step counts.

I have some pics of our walk around the lake from another morning that I'll post later.  It's a good start to the day!