Veggie Chili & a Movie!

Yum! Just made some vegetarian chili tonight that even Alex liked. I've been inspired by Jen talking about eating chili on her blog.

The photo isn't great, but I took it with Alex's iphone.

This was a recipe I got from my mom in college. I added some soy meat to supplement it. Otherwise it's spinach, red peppers, onion, beans and seasoning.

I'll post the exact recipe later when I have some time. Watching The Hurt Locker right now. People are raving about it, and it was up for some Golden Globes last night. So far it's great, but tense and disturbing given that it's about bomb defusers in Iraq...

Grocery shopping with a car

For those of you in NYC, you know that grocery shopping here just isn't quite the same as in other cities in the US. My buying patterns changed drastically when I moved here. I tend to pick stuff up as I go, at the corner bodega, and make more convenience-oriented decisions.

This often leads to not having food at home and then, consequently, ordering out.

My buying habits also have to do with how many groceries I can carry home in a trip. And since we moved to our most recent neighborhood in Sunset Park in Brooklyn, our selection at the neighborhood stores is even smaller and less veggie-friendly than before.

When I make an effort, I certainly can schlepp all my groceries a mile back and forth from the really nice grocery store, or make special trips to Whole Foods as I do on occasion. But that takes advance planning, so when I'm busy, it tends to fall by the wayside, and instead I shop at our tiny corner market and then of course, at the bodega!

One of my favorite apartments was the place I had in Boston in grad school where Whole Foods was my local grocery store, just a block over! Then my convenience food was their salad bar. That's also during the time that I lost 100 pounds!

This weekend, in my quest to have healthier food in the house, we decided to go on a Texas-style grocery shopping mission. No more grandma cart for us, we took the CAR! And even found a really nice grocery store with a parking lot and everything.

I tell ya, it's still such a NOVELTY to be able to do these things I took for granted when I owned a car before.

What a nice store, wide aisles, TONS of vegetarian stuff, and a huge fresh produce selection. Yay!

We will be eating well this week. And by that I mean healthy!

Today's a day off

I'm lucky to get today as a holiday for Martin Luther King Jr's birthday. Despite it being a "day off" I'm happy to say I'm not using it as an excuse to eat. Usually, I'd be all "I'll start my "diet" tomorrow."

But after my little revelation early this week that I'd just gone overboard and was kind of over it, I've been eating okay. I did have some cookies last night but that was the worst of it.

I had promised myself I'd go shopping for healthy food, clean up the kitchen (so I felt more like cooking), and not order out. Which I did! I've also been good about more protein, less carbs. (The haircut hasn't happened though).

I did get an egg sandwich when we were out and about yesterday, but I'm okay with that. I needed to eat something and it was an okay option. Protein first!

Made myself some awesome butternut squash soup last night for dinner and added in some veg with just a little rice and some soy protein on the side.

More eggs for breakfast this morning and I'm psyched to make the vegetarian chili i have planned for later today.

The packing today hasn't really been happening though. Just five more weekends to get it all done. I feel like that's pretty manageable.

As for today, it's noon and all I've managed to do is sleep sleep sleep and read up on all the blog posts I've been missing lately. Which is always great for weight loss motivation.

As for getting myself going, perhaps a shower will help! :)

NYTimes article on hair loss

Since many of us who have been banded have concerns about hair loss, I thought I'd share this article from the New York Times. It doesn't discuss the band, but it does specifically address hair loss in women and its various causes.

Bottom line from them is that yes a bout of stress can cause hair loss (ie: surgery) as can vitamin deficiency, but that special vitamins and shampoos don't work. If you are vitamin deficient, a regular multivitamin will do the trick. The only medication or treatment they recommend is Minoxidil (Rogaine).

An alternate drug Propecia isn't as recommended, especially for women of child-bearing age.

Antidepressants and other medications can also be to blame. And of course in many cases, hair loss is hereditary.

Read the full article here.

Time to make some changes

I've been so busy making all these big changes in my life that I've been losing sight of the band and my diet. Getting married, work, and now this move have all gotten in the way. I need to take a few actions to trigger some sort of change.

Alex went out tonight and I decided to order a pizza while I pack and watch tv. And surprise, surprise, I ate too much of it. And now I feel gross and was thinking why am I just eating to eat. Thinking about food constantly but not hungry so eating just isn't as satisfying.

I'm thinking I need to do the following to change my attitude tomorrow:

* No more fast food / delivery!!
* Clean out the fridge, cupboard, and the entire kitchen so I want to cook!
* Stock up on healthy stuff to eat!
* Get moving, get walking to feel more energetic
* Less carbs, more energy! Protein first!

* Get a haircut for an attitude boost, so I don't feel so schlumpy

Just bought a car!

I'm super psyched because Alex and I bought a car last night! Given some of the cities I've lived in (Boston, NYC, Istanbul), I've spent more of my adult life without a car than with one.

NYC in particular isn't really all that car friendly, so to have one now, in preparation for our move to Texas, is just such a thrill.

When I did have cars in high school and college, they were older cash cars, so it was a new thing for me to negotiate with a dealer, deal with financing, etc. Since the buying process got dragged out all week and one person we dealt with was rather smarmy, buying the car was really stressing me out this week. But in the end, it was a positive experience. In fact, they messed up the pricing and gave it to us for $1000 less than we had originally negotiated. $3500 off list price! I am OKAY with that!!!

That's me above at the dealership, below is our "new" 2008 Mazda 3. Then Alex in his Facebook post pic saying, "I be ridin', they will be hating."


Finally, the photo our sales person took of us with Alex's iphone (below). It was really dark out and unfortunately she didn't get the car in the photo(!?!); however, it seems as though we have lots of time now to get photos of it. Even went out for a joy ride in it this morning with Alex and the dogs. Drive through coffee and a trip to the Prospect Park. We dropped off lots of textile recycling as we begin packing this weekend. We even found an available parking space right in front of the farmer's market!

Now I have to figure out how many little road trips we can take before we leave in 6 weeks!

This is ALWAYS where I get stuck, btw

A little addition to my last post, if I think back over the years, my current weight is ALWAYS where i get stuck and where i self sabotage.

I thought when I went like 1 pound under that magic number that I had somehow cured myself of that, but now I can clearly see how many months later that is so not the case.

I'm finding my goal right now is just not to gain. But with what I'm eating that might not be how things play out.

C'mon Heather! Get it together!

(my new nickname, get it together heather!) Or a new blog name! ha!

Not sure how many of you know this but I actually have 5 blogs (one for calorie counting that is private), so I'm always looking for a new blog name! In fact, my new food blog is *pretty much* a sign of my food mindset right now. Very much NOT a diet blog, more like a foodie blog so be warned. YUM!

Uh oh, I just got "hungry!"

Bummer update

Normally I feel so uplifted following the band blogs, but I have to fess up to feeling a bit down when I see other people banded at the same time as me who have lost a lot more weight.

Bottom line, they're working harder. And I definitely give kudos to everyone out there and all of their hard work.

However, I'm feeling a bit down on my moody, snacky self right now.

Even the thought of diet or exercise is completely non-existent and like a deal breaker some how. Since New Year's I just feel like EATING!

I went to the doctor this week (general practitioner) and the scale is pretty much where it was at New Year's. Up 5lbs from my lowest. Considering how FAT i feel, i thought it would be worse. I literally feel like how I did at the beginning of this process.

My hair is grown out, so it's back in a pony tail all the time. I feel fat, my jeans are tight (of course these are a smaller pair but still) and yet, i'm still just thinking about FOOOD!

This is how it was BEFORE the band!

I was thinking about my fears pre-band. What if I get all crazy because I can't emotionally eat anymore. And Alex and I fight and divorce and I'm super high strung and upset all the time since i won't be able to self sooth.

So the good news & the bad news is that the band doesn't really stop the emotional eating. Alex and I are very happy and believe it or not, I'm not cranky all the time.

The band definitely has lessened the amount i can eat when stress eating, but i can still eat! and cheat it with certain types of foods and lots of snacks! My worst cheat is just waiting til i'm no longer full and continueing to eat then.

The band can kill some of the appetite. But if you're like me on a bad day, eating despite no appetite, then you can still eat.

So the good is that i'm still "normal" and I didn't sacrifice too much of my self. The bad news is I can still stuff my face when I'm upset.

I'm back to working crazy-long hours in my new job and this week has been a week from hell. But i guess I'm kind of tired of using stress as an excuse because I've been doing that since October. I haven't seen any real weight loss since then.

A friend made me dinner last weekend (she doesn't know about the band). I'll have to do another post later on that because she had some interesting comments about "people with the band!"

Okay, time to leave the office. 8pm is too late.

I'm wondering what will change this mindset of mine?

Are we all struggling with restriction and weight loss?

I figured come New Year, I'd totally be back on the wagon. I'm doing well with positive change, doing great with my budget, and am back in the swing of things despite having been so disillusioned right before Christmas.

However, the thing that definitely hasn't fallen into place is weight loss / diet / healthy eating. I've got work and money working but am just eating all piggy.

Went to see the new Sherlock Holmes tonight. Can you guess whether I had popcorn, candy or soda? (Hint, hint, it's a trick question! ;)

HUGE news

We're moving to Austin! We have been thinking about relocating for a while, but over the Christmas break we decided on Austin. I can't tell you how excited I am.

The amazing thing is how quickly it's all fallen into place. The financing, getting out of our current lease (no penalties!), AND best of all, my company is going to let me keep my job, and I'll work from Austin. How cool is that!?!?! They couldn't have been better about it.

It's amazing that everything fell into place in the span of about 24 hours.

So now we have to pack and buy a car. Working on that today. It'll be SO much fun picking one out. I've so missed having a car in New York.

We're looking at early March, so lots to do!

The new apartment we want is pretty fab too. More on that later, but I can say the building is just to the left of downtown in the image above, so right on the lake and right downtown. We can walk to the Farmer's Market, the Lake with the dogs, or to any of the great bars or restaurants or coffee shops downtown.

Super excited!

Funny NSV

This also borders on TMI; however, I had to share. Today's NSV (non-scale victory) was that my underwear is soooooo big....HOW BIG IS IT!?!? It's sooooo big that it was sliding down my butt all the way to my upper legs as I took the dogs for a walk tonight.

So good thing I was just on my way back home, no biggie. Problem is, I bought a whole bunch of this same kind, so I guess I need to buy some new ones!

Stuck

Uh oh! Made Alex and I an omelet and pancakes this morning. Couldn't get it all down, but what surprised me was that the pancake wasn't at all the issue. It was the eggs. I think they were a bit dry so I gave up on them.

Was feeling fine but after about 4 hours felt a pressure in my chest. Weird that it took that long. Came time to eat again but I just wasn't hungry. Was thinking I was most likely stuck, but taking a sip of water definitely confirmed that! I felt a strong pain/pressure in my chest which radiated to my cheek weirdly enough. It was pretty strong pain, and then that water just rushed back up. But with enough warning for me to get to the bathroom. Needless to say, I vomited. First time. Just water.

I don't feel like I did any damage because it was mostly like all that water just came back up, projectile granted. Rather than there being much heaving involved. Sorry, TMI!

I can sip water now, but I'm not entirely sure whatever it is is gone. I'm not in any pain though and I don't feel any pressure. Definitely nervous about having anything for dinner. Guess I'll just have to see how it goes...

The end of a decade and the start of a new one!

It kind of shocks me that it's the end of a decade. Y2k seems like yesterday, but of course really a lot has happened since then.

In 2000, I was living in Boston in my first major publishing job and finishing up grad school. I had lost 100 pounds and was on the top of my game!

I moved to Istanbul to take some time off and teach after grad school in the Spring of 2000. After living in Turkey for a year and a half, I moved back to Houston to get back on my feet financially.

I was rather depressed during that period and gained back all the weight I lost. Oh no! So I needed another major change and planned on moving back to Boston, but somehow ended up in New York. Had a couple of friends that had moved here so I thought, what the heck and applied to a job on a whim. Needless to say I got that job and moved here. For the first few weeks I kept thinking "New York!?!? How the hell did I end up here!?!" But six years later, I can definitely say that I love this city.

And of course, I met Alex here and now we're married. I was surprised that being a newlywed is so romantic!

And now I have this band and am back to losing weight again!

A lot of the last 10 years was about career, and I'm ready for this new decade to be all about family. And health, wellness, and happiness!

Here's to a fabulous 2010!

Another pound down

So at least I'll be starting the new year back at my last mini-goal. Only 1 pound up from my lowest post-WLS.

Just tried on a dress I got as a Christmas present, an Old Navy size 20, and it was too big. Granted that means I have nothing to wear to the New Year's Eve party tonight, but I am glad to see that that size 20 was too big!

Domesticated Eating

I feel like Alex and I just ate a real, domesticated, married couple meal. With one small exception. I'll get into how it came about in another post, but we just finished eating a meal of bbq chicken (thanks mom for the stove-top grill, and I think that Native Texan bbq sauce was part of dawn's gift of Texan fixin's.) My chicken was of course of the soy variety, but YUM anyway!

And then we had that with mashed potatoes (with aged comte cheese and garlic) and with corn.

We don't always cook at home and when we do, it's not usually a meat and potatoes type of meal, so this just made me feel so domestic and "married." The next step would be to eat a meal at the table instead of instead of in front of the tv watching a movie!

Back down that same pound

Talking about yo-yo-ing. I'm back down one of the same pounds I've been up and down the last couple of months! But at least the scale is heading in the right direction. And given the new year, and no more holidays and no more excuses, hopefully, the scale will continue to head in that direction. Only 6 more til my next mini goal.

How are you all feeling about New Years? I'm not feeling like tomorrow is a big excuse to blow it all. Though we do have plans to attend a New Year's Party of a friends in the West Village, so there will be opportunity. I'll just have to make an effort to count the number of drinks I have and alternate alcohol with water.

Yo-Yo-ing

I'm back in NYC. I enjoyed a fair amount of indulgence traveling around Texas last week and reminded myself that there are definitely times where I have little self control. For those pre-band who are worried that holidays just won't be the same, for Alex and I they pretty much are the same. We eat less, Alex said he had to be more strategic in what he chose to eat, but we still indulged.

I'm 2 pounds up now, but as of today, I'm limiting my intake. For today, no ordering out (a big no-no that we do way too often) and then as of tomorrow, I'm back to calorie counting and smaller portions. Good thing there are no more excuses in the coming months. Just time to get in the swing of things.

Since I'm up again, I'm 7 pounds to my next mini goal, but it's a big one for me!

Not entirely MIA, just on vacation

So I was without a computer for most of this week as I've been on vacation in Austin and San Antonio since last weekend. I'm at my mom's in Houston now so I'm able to catch up a bit. I've been indulging as I always do in Texas, but this most recent fill has stopped me from going too overboard. In fact, I'd be totally fine if I weren't snacking between meals. The meals themselves are great; it's just that you can "trick" the band by eating and snacking again when you are no longer full, before the next meal (oh no!)

I'm back in NYC after Christmas and am actually quite psyched about the possibilities of weight loss for the new year. So much so that I'm going to get back on the horse Sunday rather than wait until New Year's Day.

Off to wrap gifts now. I love Christmas!

Merry Christmas to you all!

7.1ccs in a 10cc band

So as mentioned, I went for my third fill yesterday. I had heard a few people talk about Gaspar at NYU, and this was my first time meeting with him. I cannot recommend him highly enough. I told him I was nervous and that my other fills had been difficult, and he totally got it. He said this is what I do all day long, I know what I'm doing. He said he knew I was nervous about having someone "grind" the needle around trying to find the port, and it just clicked. When he used the word grind, I knew he knew exactly my discomfort before. That's exactly what happened the other times.

But not this time. He felt the port, inserted the needle and it was done. Easy and only a pinch. It's more of a pinch than giving blood because it's a bigger needle, and it gets sore afterwards. But he totally took the fear out of it! Yay Gaspar!

And I'm definitely feeling restriction even with my liquids. Felt it with my soup last night and my coffee this morning. It all goes down just fine, but it's nice to just know that this fill "took."

So I now have 7.1cc's in a 10cc (small) band.

Weigh In

As a step toward getting back on the wagon, I made myself weigh in this morning. I've been eating so many cookies and indulging so much in the "holidays" that I was nervous to see the number.

But i was only two pounds up. I can live with that. It's not undoable. However, it does undo my most recent mini-goal.

I also weighed in at NYU. Only 3 pounds lost since my last appointment but that's better than a gain. It's been a while since I was in last which is why that's a bummer!

Soup recipes?

Anyone have any good soup recipes to share? I figured I should start making soup instead of cookies at this point given my post fill diet.

Vegetarian ones would be particularly appreciated.

I get lunch from this place called Columbine here in Tribeca on occasion, and they have the most to-die-for soups. Makes having soup for lunch an actual luxury. (As does the price, but if that's all you get then it's not bad at all! Another benefit of the band lifestyle).

Mmm...Cookies

So we had the cookie swap here at work and I ate cookies. I kind've forgot I wasn't supposed to because they went down just fine after my fill this morning.

But I'm back on liquids now. I'm kind've just fine about having had the cookies since I put SO much work into organizing and baking for this thing.

Yum. Now back to being good.

Loving this new fill. Will do a separate post on that later.

When I don't blog, you can rightfully assume I'm off the wagon

I mentioned to someone today at our bandster brunch, that when I'm not blogging here, it pretty much means I'm off the wagon. When I'm on the wagon, I'm much more tuned in. I do check in and read others blogs, but when I'm doing badly, beyond a post or so, I don't usually want to acknowledge that. Denial is just easier.

So I'm making myself blog and engage with the whole weight loss thing. Since all I really want to do right now is sleep and eat more of the Christmas cookies I made.

As I mentioned previously, tomorrow afternoon is the work cookie swap I organized. Tomorrow is also my fill day in the morning. I'm not sure how those two things will go when happening on the same day. I'll check in then and let y'all know how i handle the cookies being on liquids. It's going to be a bit obvious if I don't eat given that I organized the darn thing!

I'm absolutely looking forward to the fill though. It's been too long. I just hit a point where it's no longer free (after 3 months), so I was putting it off.

Banster Brunch

Thanks to Jen for organizing a great bandster brunch today. We met up at Dos Caminos in Manhattan and indulged in Prickly Pear Margaritas. YUM! It's probably the only time I would let that much guacamole sit on the table, but we were all engrossed in the conversation.

It was Jen, Colleen, Carla, Catherine and me. Unfortunately Yana was sick and unable to make it, and Jacqui was out on Long Island. Hopefully we'll see you ladies next time!

It was great to meet everyone in person after following their blogs and to have others to talk openly to about the band and weight issues.

The card in my camera was full, so I didn't get any photos, but a few others did. Can't wait to see their pics!

Half Days

Took half days yesterday and today. Was just unfocused at work with all that was going on. Would've taken full days off, but I wanted to see a few people and had an all staff mtg (and another really boring mtg) this morning I had to at least show up for.

I'm organizing a holiday dessert hour / cookie swap (i know, i know!) for Monday and given the layoffs, I offered to take on coordinating our secret santa. (The previous organizers were both laid off as were some of the participants so we decided to re-draw and send the organizers a little gift as a thank you / we miss you to them).

I'm happy to have some holiday things to distract me though as I was worthless work-wise. Was just feeling really pissy in the mtgs I did have to go to.

And I decorated our Christmas tree finally last night. I'll post a pic later this weekend.

And I'm preparing packages of Christmas cookies this weekend to mail and for our dessert hour Monday. And the rest of our Christmas cards.

Let's just hope I don't eat too many of the cookies while I cook. The plan is to package the gifts to mail immediately to prevent that!

I've been on a tear food wise. When I stress that's what I do. Just waiting for my fill on Monday morning. Yes just before our dessert hour, so I'll be on fluids only that day and liquids and soft foods the rest of the week. Ironic the timing worked out that way! Can't decide if that's an oops or a yay!