Getting Back to Skinny Mini

Surprisingly hard to find plus-sized suits

2011-07-22T23:07:00.010-04:00

Finally got called in for an interview last week. We're planning on moving to LA but don't want to move out there without at least one of us having a job, so we're doing the long distance job search thing.

I got called on Wednesday and scheduled an interview for the following Monday. So I bought a ticket last minute and flew out Sunday. The bummer though was that the job I went out for was already filled. The recruiter really seemed to love me though and was telling me, just get in the door and if you're good, you'll move up fast. So they were trying to convince me to take a different position that would have been a step down and wasn't quite right, but it still paid very well. At least she squeezed three interviews into one day for me.That worked out well in that I didn't have to fly out again. It's in Orange County though and that commute from LA might be painful. In the end, that didn't work out either, so back to the drawing board.

I'm kind of loving funemployment so for now that's okay. As long as Alex is working. I'm definitely putting my time into the job search however. Just appreciating everything I have in my life right now. If I'm going to be unemployed, honestly, i might as well enjoy all the free time and make the most of it!

The good news is that in terms of my goals going forward, I learned a few things from the experience. Also, after that interview, I'm a bit more motivated for the job search.

And for the days before the interview I had an all-out shopping spree looking for just the right suits, etc. When I lost weight post-surgery, I got rid of my suits. And the new jackets I have weren't formal enough for an interview. So I had a major excuse to shop, and that was tons of fun! And now I have everything I need including a great new hair do too. That was desperately needed. My bangs are officially all grown out now! They NEVER looked as good in person as in the profile pic.

The photo at the top is me the morning of the interview... A bit blurry but you get the point. I LOVE the red/pink floral silk blouse I found at Nordstrom Rack. It just made the outfit.

I was VERY surprised however that I had trouble finding plus sized suits (hence the reason it turned into an all-out shopping spree). All my regular go-to places had NOTHING. Macy's, Lane Bryant, etc etc. Neimans had their stuff behind a curtain for a private sale! On a visit to a different Macy's I found the suit above. The only one they had for sale in my size. Good thing it fit! (Though I did have to hem the pants myself).

Surprisingly, I found something else at Talbot's. I had expected their stuff not to be business-y enough, but this ONE jacket on the clearance rack was SO PERFECT. I didn't really have time to order online. By the way, SALE ALERT if you're looking for some deals (not just suits), check out Talbot's online outlet clearance - 75% off!!! In fact, pretty much everywhere I went last week had MAJOR SALES!!

After all that, post interview, I randomly ended up finding a spectacular deal on a Tahari suit! I have two suits already, so this one makes three. I'm hearing more and more that people have to go for 3+ interviews, so at least I'll be prepared. The newest suit is something like this one below. Originally $320, I got it for $40 at Ross! Just the skirt is worth that, and I can wear that on many occasions! What made the deal even better was that I had tried on something very similar at full price the week before. So I definitely appreciated the value!

I had such a shopping high after that, so I actually went to another Ross, but they didn't have any other Tahari suits. I did find a perfect gray and white dress though for $12!!!! Great quality, flattering, with little sleeves. Still can't believe the deal. Perfect with a suit jacket for an interview, or alone for a date, or even just a normal day in the office. Once I have an office to go to...

I did go to the gym a couple of times since my last post, but with the interview prep and travel, that definitely threw things off. And true to form, post interview when all the stress was over, I found myself wanting to eat...and I did a little bit. Got stuck at the airport because of the Phoenix sand storm so had nothing but time to munch. oh no!

Definitely have to keep my eye on the scale. The biggest thing for us is being sure we go grocery shopping. Not having food in the house = fast food or eating out = BAD!

Workout Music Suggestions?

2011-07-08T16:00:00.002-04:00

So I joined the gym today! Yay! Found an all-women's gym not too far away which is great. Felt really good post workout, then took a quick swim after, and then the post-gym crash/hunger hit me. I wasn't too bad though. Had some plain oatmeal with nuts and iced coffee which was my breakfast.

Definitely felt a stress-relief post workout. Haven't started strength-training. Will work up to that, just did cardio and stretching and sit ups for now.

I'll feel so much better with 20 lbs off. Even being heavy, I'm 20lbs more than i prefer to be at and my clothes are tighter than i like. Have been for quite a while really.

So now that I'm getting back into the workout thing, do you have workout music you like or links to other blog posts you can send me? I want to keep my workout mix fresh to keep things interesting.

Staying with Fam for the Week

2011-06-26T22:06:00.003-04:00

I'm here in Houston with my mom this week. I'll be carless (in the suburbs) and have a few big projects to work on, so I went grocery shopping tonight and that's it.

So I dont plan on getting much swimming or exercise in (except if i happen to head over to my sister's place and her pool), but I really won't be able to go get any fast food or do much damage beyond what's in the house. So I think this week should be good. May do some neighborhood dog walks if it's not in the 100s.

So we'll see how I fare weight-wise once I get back to Austin. I'll be here for 7 or 8 days through the 4th of July weekend. I'm looking forward to lots of downtime at my mom's. I have some photography projects and have promised to completely organize her office. Basically it was never unpacked when she moved and since then, it's become a catch-all room, so I have my work cut out for me!

Down 4 lbs on my yo-yo coaster

2011-06-23T12:50:00.002-04:00

I got on the scale in a funk this morning. Haven't weighed myself in more than a week, and for whatever reason, was just like "Oh great" my weight's going to be up too.

Yes, it's one of those mornings.

However, the weight wasn't up. It was DOWN 4 lbs!! Now granted, I think that the number was UP last time I weighed given my TOM or something. However, I'll take what I can get. It wasn't up, it was DOWN. And DOWN 4 lbs! So the swims and eating at home and eating more veg must be helping!

My yo-yo coaster is at least headed in the right direction. Woooooo!!! (That's me, arms up, going down in a roller coaster).

A Belated Honeymoon!?!? Tahiti!?!?

2011-06-22T22:33:00.002-04:00

My husband is Mr. Internet deal, and he's just found an amazing trip to Tahiti for a steal!

It's been about a year and a half since our wedding. Originally, we thought we'd put off the honeymoon for a few months, but then Alex lost his job, and we moved to Austin, so it all got put on hold.

Now that we're trying more seriously to get pregnant, Alex and I discussed the fact that if things work out as planned, this could be our last chance to take our honeymoon which is really important to me, and we still have savings from the Honeymoon Registry we did for the wedding. And now, I have some extra cash from a freelance job I just did, so we're looking at Labor Day!!!

We've debated on Spain, France, Italy or Tahiti but really thought the South Pacific was just completely unrealistic. That is until we found this deal.

I want to research it and make sure it's the right decision. Plus, Alex will need to clear it with his boss.

Fingers crossed! That'd be a fun weight loss goal to have!

Avoiding Fast Food - What Do You Cook at Home?

2011-06-21T16:56:00.004-04:00

You'd think just being vegetarian would help me avoid fast food. It's not like there's tons that I can eat, but I manage to find things. It's easy, cheap and convenient.

Being at home these days, I have decided to refocus on getting healthy. So one of the first steps is no fast food. I've allowed myself diet sodas as an exception when running errands, shopping.

So I made up a meal plan for the week, and I've done all of my coffees at home (my FAVORITE thing is going out for a morning coffee!). The trick is just making my coffee at home good enough to compete with what I get when i go out. So iced coffee is the thing for me. Lots of ice, with a straw.

We've already been on a salad kick, and had been trying to eat in more both for budget and health. So this week I put together our meal plan, and so far so good.

However, we're trying to avoid relying too much on pasta. We already do tons of mexican food. A couple of people replied to this question on Facebook, but I'd love to hear more ideas.

What do you guys like to cook at home for lunches/dinner?

Even if it's meat, i can usually make a substitute version. My favorite suggestion so far was bangers and mash! I can do those soy, Alex can do his meat and i can add some veg. So easy!!

Any go-to at-home meal ideas you can share?

Who else gets sleepy after a workout?

2011-06-15T12:21:00.002-04:00

I went for another swim this morning, in my new swimsuit which i love! And now, 2 hours later, I'm getting. very. sleeeeeepy.

Do you guys get sleepy after a workout?

I lost a ton of weight a ton of years ago and at the time, tried many times to do morning workouts and then go to work, but I just couldn't get anything done because I'd be either feeling week, way too relaxed and always very sleepy. I was in pretty decent shape at the time, so I'm thinking it's not a weight issue.

Or on the weekends if i tried it, it would just kill the rest of my day.

So i took to a nighttime workout which worked well because i'd go on the way home from work and then sleep well.

These days, I'm at home, and schedule-wise, it's just better to work out in the morning first thing, then shower and go on with my day. Then i can spend my evenings with my husband. I'm also afraid if i leave the workout to the evening, it might not happen.

Has anyone else experienced this? Any thoughts?

Today I decided to respect the band

2011-06-11T22:29:00.002-04:00

It might seem so obvious to other bandsters, but today I made a conscious decision to respect the band and to stop eating right away when I felt restriction.

This led to a total of 6 mini-meals, but overall I think it worked quite well. I definitely wasn't at all hungry. It was just about fighting that urge to feel like you wasted food. Some of what I had at home, I could just put back. And at lunch I had 1/2 a small side salad and 3/4 of a piece of bruschetta. It seemed like a waste to be in a restaurant and not eat what I ordered, but I took the other bruschetta home. We'll see if it gets eaten though. The topping came separate from the bread for some reason, so it might get repurposed into another meal, who knows!?

The problem is that later in the day, the band is always much looser. So for dinner, I ordered this big plate of veggies and rice from one of my favorite restaurants and was able to eat half of it before getting full. Veggies seems like a great choice, but the problem with this dish and why it's SO GOOD is that its made with a ton of butter and cheese. I figured it was better to eat lovely, lightly cooked veg even with the butter and cheese than the enchilada alternative. Despite the fat, I'm at least also getting the health benefits of all that veg and brown rice.

I might avoid that dish in the future however, or order it with way less cheese and butter.

But today's experiment was less about what I ate and more about stopping when I'm restricted, and I think I did a good job at that. I'm going to keep at it and slowly make healthier choices. We're already eating at home much more often despite eating out today. I had a friend in town so things were a bit different than usual.

What do you get stuck on?

2011-06-10T19:19:00.006-04:00

The band has been acting up a fair bit the last 2 weeks. Or maybe I should say "working," which led me to thinking about the things I get "stuck" on. If I was smart, I'd cut them out of my life entirely, but until now I've been too _____(insert proper word here)______ to do that.

So, what is it I get stuck on???

- french fries (yes, I know, why am i eating these)

- tator tots (ditto)

- hamburger buns

- bread

- tortillas

- enchiladas

- quesadillas

- taco shells (I'm in Texas, LOTS of mexican food!)

- pita chips

- eggs

- dry nuts

- rice

- sushi rolls

- soy meats

- cooked tofu (the only way I eat it)

- pizza crust

- raw carrots (am actually afraid of them, won't eat them)

- bagels (i don't even bother trying)

Notice a theme here???

Since I don't eat meat, and unfortunately tend to lean on a fast food / takeout diet on occasion, carbs definitely tend to be involved in most of my menu options. Alex and I have a new commitment to eating at home and eating salads as a staple. Luckily, I never get stuck on salads. (Pasta never seems to be an issue either).

I need to rethink my diet and proteins however and let the band work. Of course i keep getting stuck if I keep making the wrong food choices.

If you know me, and i stop and pause during a meal. Kind of still and thoughtful. And then you see me stretch, you'll know what the deal is.

Getting stuck is deal-able, just not comfortable. On occasion more than uncomfortable. There will be a pain in my chest. Tightness. Tension in my back. If it's bad, a pain in my shoulder and a quick tension headache. It lasts a second and passes once I'm unstuck.

I don't PB much. If I do, I basically know i went too far. The inconsistency is surprising. One day or one meal I can eat the whole meal, another time, a few bites and that's that. The problems is that my trick is that I just wait, food passes, and i keep eating. Time to stop that too.

So what do you get stuck on? Do you have any foods you get stuck on that you for whatever reason keep eating? (if you don't mind sharing, any thoughts on why you still eat those foods?)

For me, I think i'm just *still* in denial that I can't eat certain things. Post-band it was like a point of pride that I could still be normal and people can't tell I'm banded. And sometimes I really am just normal. I just can't completely pig out and eat a full plate and then seconds.

Swimming!

2011-06-09T23:16:00.000-04:00

I was super psyched when I found this cute retro little number IN MY SIZE and for $20-something dollars! The reviews all say it's got great support too. My old swimsuit was sadly (or sag-ily) lacking! I like the hip coverage too without having to go the awful plus-size swimskirt route.

Why do I need a new swimsuit?!? I've decided swimming will be a good way to ease back into working out. Beyond some nice long dog walks, it's been ages since I had a proper workout. Well except for my recent visit to our apartment's swimming pool which is super clean and really quite charming. That swim just reinforced how pathetically the old swimsuit fits. Or just entirely doesn't fit -- on top. It kind of made me understand a bit better how all these celebrity wardrobe malfunctions happen.

As for swimming, I found a particular time of morning when no one uses the pool, and it's a pretty big pool, so I started doing laps. I discovered it actually made my legs and lower back a bit sore. I noticed i had some odd posture while swimming, but it made me feel good to have gotten a good enough workout to be sore in a swimming pool. I'll have to watch my "form" in regard to my lower back though. But the sore legs were definitely from all the work, not bad form.

It did feel like work, but it was so enjoyable, it makes you wonder, how is this a workout!?! I was tired enough the rest of the day to know it definitely had some impact.

I think it's a good way to kick start some exercise! I'm looking at a women's gym by Alex's office that's pretty cheap and offers a short term summer contract. I'm still considering the financials, but I think it'd be a healthy option, both mentally and physically, to drop Alex off at work and get to the gym every morning. One of the job search books I was reading emphasized the importance of staying relaxed and happy and interested in life while job searching. It makes you a better interviewee and will help your confidence!

Great news today!

2011-06-09T22:25:00.000-04:00

So I can let out a sigh of relief tonight. Despite all the negative-talk from the person I spoke to on the phone, I got an approval letter for Texas Unemployment. It's not a ton of money but just enough to make ends meet! Whew!

Life update

2011-06-08T15:37:00.003-04:00

Hey everyone. So it's been a while, but I'm still here fighting the good fight. Sometimes (at least when it comes to food).

Lots has changed and lots is the same. The big news is that I lost my job. So I've joined the ranks of the nation's unemployed. After about a year of letting me work long distance, my company changed their mind. They talked about creating a new tech trainer job for me, but the funding didn't come through. And a few of our higher ups asked me to apply for a rep job that opened up in LA. I was on the fence about that but was trying to keep an open mind. They ended up switching things around and getting a rep for a different territory however, so that didn't work out. Now, I've been working on freelance projects for them which is a mixed blessing. It's great in that it pays (and the work is interesting)! But sometimes I feel like I can't really move on if I continue to be connected to this company that laid me off. Plus I find it to be a bit of distraction in terms of the job search. So...I'm just going to go with the flow for now and see what comes my way. Staying open to freelancing as maybe that's what's in the cards if it works out?

Assuming unemployment comes through, all will be okay, but so far I've been rejected by NY state because I live in TX, and TX told me on the phone that it should have been NY that paid me because I had a NY-based employer). So I'm expecting a rejection letter from TX any day now. I feel confident we can make ends meet in whatever ways we have to, but my husband gets stressed out about it, reasonably so. I think I'm just more naturally inclined to look on the bright side. However, it is certainly an added complication since I was the breadwinner. If TX does reject me, I'll have to go back and ask them to review my case again.

So we cut expenses, and I'm really proud that we were able to tighten our belts so much. The student loans all went on hold too which is a really big deal. The biggest thing we did though is move to a MUCH cheaper apt. We are in a more suburban area now. Bye bye beautiful downtown apartment. But this place has its plusses including way more storage and an office (which i LOVE!).

That's the big picture update. Now that I have more time, I'll be sure and provide more updates. Lots going on with weight loss efforts too. But I'll post all of that in other posts!

Cookies...uh oh

2011-01-13T22:00:00.003-05:00

So everyone was talking about making fires for the east coast blizzard a couple of days ago and someone else said they'd bake, so i got it into my head that i'd bake.

So i took a favorite recipe and cut it in four and used extra WW points i had that day for a handful of cookies as my splurge. Alex and i shared of course.

Day 2 extra points again, made 1/4 of a WW pnut butter cookie recipe.

Today, had a bad day, and ate the remaining cookies. Then baked another 1/4 batch of a non-WW recipe.

I kind of went with the cookie option too because it involves the whole rigamarole of baking and doing the baking dishes in order to reap the reward. I figured i wouldnt want to do that on a regular basis (unlike the option of getting something bad at the store or fast food).

I'm still "on points" miraculously by using part or most of my weekly bonus point allotment.

Part of why i like WW is that it's all about portion control. Which with the exception of the cookies, I've had tons of. Also that you can eat "real" food on it, live a real life, and still have it work.

However, even though i can get away with this, the whole point is to eat healthier. Which in every other way i have been. Tons more fresh foods, fruit and veg etc.

And of course, the whole overall lesson is not to binge and not to turn to food when i'm bummed out.

But i think today was the true screw up day, even if by WW standards i didn't technically. So i learn my lesson today and move fwd tomorrow. Eating so much sugar isn't a good thing, that's for sure.

Short term goals

2011-01-12T15:52:00.001-05:00

I've decided that short-term weight loss goals really are the thing that keep me ticking.

So, to that end, I'm going to add a new short term goal tracker. Right now, it was a 18 pound loss i was looking for. 6 of those down! So i'm going to try and add a ticker to the top of the page to distinguish from the one on the side.

My goal is to look like my after picture again

2011-01-12T15:20:00.003-05:00

I had a commenter on a recent article note that I must be doing well because she'd taken a look at my after pics on the right nav.

The problem is, as I've mentioned, that I gained a lot of that weight back.

I had Alex take a recent current photo of me but decided it might not be a fair one to use in my before and after shots since i'm wearing foundation garments that make me look skinnier on the bottom than i am! I've added one of the pics here for you guys though! Growing out my bangs is making weird things happen with my hair too!

The good news is, I weighed myself today, granted on a non-weigh in day, and I'm down another 3 pounds since this past weekend.

Can that be right?

It's not official until the same number shows up this coming weekend. But it is encouraging! My goal had been to be down 10 pounds before all my presentations next week at our sales mtg. So far I'm down 6 with 6 days to go! Yay!

Very motivating!

Mmm...Can't wait to make these

2011-01-10T20:34:00.006-05:00

I've stumbled upon a few great looking vegetarian recipes yesterday and today. Can't wait to make these healthy-style. Small portions, of course!

Peanut Stew with Spinach and Sweet Potatoes (WW recipe)

Tofu Parmigiana

Szechuan Tofu with Green Beans

and Red Curry with Vegetables

Pumpkin Gnocci (or butternut! MMMM...)

I'd have to cut down the amount of butter and flour on this last one by halving or quartering the recipe, and cut the parm on top.

Speaking of "Hungry Girl"

2011-01-10T18:40:00.002-05:00

And i don't mean myself, though i have been really craving something in the cake realm. I might give in since I've been craving it for a few days and I have the "points." A small portion of something just to move past it already.

However, when I say speaking of "Hungry Girl" (from my last post), I thought I'd share that she and her brand just got a new TV show on the Cooking Channel. Can't say I'm familiar with the cooking channel, but I'm down for shows talking about healthier ways to eat!

Find out more here...

"Hungry Girl" Brunch

2011-01-09T14:51:00.002-05:00

Alex and I are both finding this new Weight Watchers Points Plus to be so much easier with a band! It's just putting the daily food guidelines we needed into place. And I love that he's doing this with me now.

This morning, I made this really healthy brunch but problem is I chose three foods I get stuck on! Just because they are my traditional notion of brunch. I made Hungry Girl's mini banana pancakes with soy bacon and scrambled egg whites. I just got a bunch of healthy cookbooks from the library, and those banana pancakes really appealed.

The pancakes were decent but could only get down half of them. My only problem with the Hungry Girl recipes is all the fake foods used as ingredients and all the fake sugar.

Also just got Rocco Dispirito's cookbook Now Eat This! from the library. I'm not a big fan of his (which is completely reinforced by his photos in the book) but the cookbook itself is good. It seems as though the book's name was shortened from the catch phrase used inside a lot "Now You Can Eat This!" which really fits better. Basically, he took his favorite comfort foods and made them healthy. All 350 calories or less, or something like that. I see a few recipes I want to try, but there are tons of good meat ones for Alex that he's into. I'll post when we end up making some of those recipes.

Woot! Lost 3 pounds this week!

2011-01-08T12:33:00.003-05:00

Very happy to report that I lost 3 pounds this week. Oh happy day!

And oh happy day because it's the weekend, and i can just forget about all my work week stressors for a couple of days.

Alex and I are off to walk the lake and take the dogs to the dog park where they are surprisingly good off-leash in this particular protected area. Tons of dogs there. Cali gets a bit nervous but JJ just LOVES it!

And i'm in my new workout wear, so I feel good about that. More on my new workout wear shopping excursion later...

My Bitchy Twin

2011-01-07T12:39:00.004-05:00

I've had this running joke with a few friends about our bitchy twins. That cranky side of me that comes out ever so often. and than even more often other times.

I had someone nickname me Heather Locklear once - just a play on my name - and that nickname transformed into Heather Lochnessmonster. Just one of those play on word things, not an insult. But i've kind of come to own Heather Lochnessmonster and find it highly amusing. It's quite apropos for my bitchy evil twin.

Lots of stressful changes have been happening at work that I'm very unhappy about it I'm honest, and so I was thinking today that it would be a nice vent to just write *&**!x* as my Facebook update. Of course, I can't say ANY of my friends would appreciate that and certainly not coworkers. Maybe I should just create a special Heather Lochnessmonster twitter account just to be bitchy freely when i want.

Of course, i'm joking, but obviously, based on the state of the internet these days. I guess a lot of people out there actually do this!

P.S. The before pic in my right column is what my bitchy twin looks like! ha!

Double P.S. Despite blahs and bitchies and lochnessmonsters, I'm still totally on track food wise and even exercised this week. Shocking i know.

Super Funk

2011-01-04T12:24:00.003-05:00

Maybe I'm just having a bad today, but I'm really hating working from home today. I feel bored and depressed and blah and ready for a major change.

It could be other factors, like that it's overcast and post-Christmas, and I have a new boss and am not working on my favorite project anymore. The deal with that project change is that most of my travel was tied to that project. And that travel is what made my job interesting. Got me out of the house, let me work more with customers etc. So without that, I'm just stuck at home. I'll still go to NYC for work, but some of the other trips will be greatly reduced. At least until next year. Then another project would be picking up travel wise.

I was so into working from home when Alex was home with me. I didn't really get at the time that that was why I liked it so much. I took it for granted.

And today, I'm blah, which is bad for healthy eating. But so far, i'm holding out. Not doing too bad. I did have the thought though "why am i doing this again"? As in Weight Watchers. Why do i need to lose weight? But i also had a decent answer for myself.

Thank goodness for the band

2011-01-03T15:58:00.005-05:00

So i'm on day 2 of Weight Watchers and was surprised after just a single serving of thai lime rice and thai coconut soup (1/2 can) for lunch that I was still hungry. i really thought i wouldnt be with the band this tight and all. I had the other half of the can and the rest of the rice and I'm good now. And while it's more points than i'd prefer, i'm still totally on track. Hence the title of this blog post. Not sure I'd be okay with this day so far without the band. Usually on WW, I'm STARVING the first few days until I get used to it.

Though i'm quite susceptible to suggestion today. For example, after looking at a picture of a cupcake, I want a cupcake now. Surprise surprise!

However, after looking at a Whole Foods blog post on grains, I don't actually want grains now. Funny how that works!

Unlike my usual self, I wont just indulge in whatever comes to mind though.

I just heard a McDonald's commercial talking about their fancy chocolate coffees. And it was playing on that idea of subliminal suggestion. Ooh don't you want it, do you want CHOCOLAAATEEE the male announcer kept cutting in. Then they say it's on sale. For whatever reason, I didn't actually want one, but I thought how *mean* for all those people trying to be good on their diets. I guess McDonald's has a very serious vested interest in getting people to break those diets right away, huh?

I wasn't tempted by the chocolate though and I've been good today. Instead of my fancy coffee this morning, i got a small plain decaf coffee and added a mini "snack"-sized glucerna protein shake too it for my breakfast.

This cold I've been fighting is really hanging in there. I'm super loopy today. What I really want is a nap, but since I had a dr's appt this morning, i didn't want to call in sick this afternoon, so i need to hold out for 2 more hours. I'm reporting to a different boss as of today so I need to be on the ball!

As for that morning dr's appt, I went to see the OBGyn about getting pregnant and since we've been trying for 9-12 months with no luck they are going to run a bunch of tests. Looks like the tests might be drawn out over the next 2 months though as they have to be performed on certain days of my cycle, and I'll be out of town for a week. Fingers crossed!

Wow, WW has changed!

2011-01-03T09:07:00.003-05:00

So before joining WW yesterday, I didn't think I'd had that bad of a day foodwise. I did have a bad breakfast but it was small -- I also had a few fritos in my veg chili and some tootsie rolls.

So I knew I wasn't perfect, but i thought it wasn't thaaaat bad.

Well, I was wrong!

Especially with Weight Watcher's new points plus program. You get more points to start with, but what shocked me is that they dont at all consider calories anymore! HUH!?!

It's a more complex calculation of fat, protein (yay, that's new), carbs and fiber. Very very interesting.

So my can of Whole Foods veggie chili that i thought was GREAT, especially with fresh spinach and onions in it, isn't really. (Not even including the few fritos i threw in). That can was just a bit less than half of what I can eat for the whole day! Of course, that's also a portion size issue. I should be eating half a can. Then it's about appropriate. I do get stuffed on a full can and that's with chili being a bit of a slider food, so half is fine i'm sure. It's just a matter of not letting myself sit down with a full bowl.

And that breakfast I thought wasn't so bad...really was. Those two things for the day and i was just about done points wise. So yesterday's exercise in food tracking made things clear -- they are making major efforts to push low fat and healthier food choices. Not just getting by with not-as-good-for-you low-calorie choices.

I'm excited about this, and it's been a while since I felt that way!

Weight Watchers (Post 2 today)

2011-01-02T17:52:00.003-05:00

As one of my methods for losing the weight i want to, I just joined Weight Watchers. I googled "promo code" for Weight Watchers Monthly Pass and found 25% off. Pretty good deal as you get a reduced weekly payment, no sign up fee, free online tools and then $10 off.

Anyone else out there a bandster and a weight watchers member?

Needless to say I'm sure I was influenced by the number of times I've seen the Jennifer Hudson WW commercials. But what can I say, she looks good! And some glossy weight watchers mailing even found me at my new address. They're stalking me!

I've done Weight Watchers lots of times, and it definitely works (as does the band) but as is the case with both, you have to work the program!

So here I am once again a WW member. I'm thinking WW will be much easier with the band however. I definitely get fuller faster these days.

And I'm curious to hear the changes to their new program. I know that all fruit and almost all veg are 0 points now. I remember asking a weight loss leader once about the points for veg in my salad, and he was like, really, eat what you want for salad. No one ever got fat on vegetables. Now dressing is another story...

Wish me luck!

Happy New Year!

2011-01-02T15:18:00.003-05:00

Happy New Year's to everyone out there in blogland. Despite not having posted tons lately, I do still read all of the band blogs for inspiration and to keep up with what everyone is up to.

I'm sure I'm not the only one out there who has weight loss as a new year's resolution. Though I don't really like to think of it that way -- as temporary as a resolution can sometimes be. I've been thinking for a while now of a fresh approach to healthy eating as Alex and I have been trying to get pregnant. No luck yet but a lower weight will help I'm sure. I also have an appt with an OB on Monday.

I also think it'll be easier to eat healthy during pregnancy if it's not a new thing, so I'm wanting to start now.

My short-term goal is to lose a few before my next trip to New York for work. I'll be presenting and I've gained a few pounds since I was last in New York so that's a good goal. Plus I need my clothes to fit!

I'll be sure and update on how my efforts go. I have 2 weeks until I go to New York...

Then perhaps I should make dressing up for Valentines my next weight loss goal. Alex has promised to take me out to a super fancy restaurant here for a fun Valentine's date.

Post wedding I started putting less emphasis on weight loss goals (short term ones), and I definitely need to get back to that!

I'm still here

2010-12-27T13:27:00.002-05:00

Still doing my thing here in Austin. Just got back from visiting family for Christmas. I've been crashing a lot post meals, so I think I'm going to get a full physical and have a diabetes check. I don't think I have it, but it's in my family so I always have to be sure.

Sugar is definitely my downfall and most of my sliders seem to be sugar related.

I think I just pushed myself too hard this Christmas (I know Alex thought so) but I had all these projects (for fun) and just really wanted to make my cards and do all these cookie shipments, etc. It was fun. That kind of fun Christmas project really keeps me going.

Alex has been talking a lot about being unhappy weight-wise and wanting to get back in gear. I told him I needed to wait until after Christmas and now that time has come.

I've been eating crappy food and have gained weight working from home this year and not having that walk to and from work anymore. I think I've gained back 30 of the 40 pounds I lost. The worst is having to buy bigger clothes. I resisted but had to give in just to have something to wear!

I've been giving some thought to what foods i crave. And really, big lovely salads, great gourmet soups. I can do that.

There's a pricey but really excellent salad place downstairs from our apartment called Leaf. I think I'm going to take all the money i waste on fast food etc and some grocery money and make Leaf my daily lunch. Then a gourmet soup or chili or something similar for dinner. And toss in some protein shakes.

I've been getting stuck constantly! I think gaining weight back made the band tighter. It'll feel good to be more proactive and since we're trying to get pregnant that can only be a good thing there too!

"Overeating, Like Drug Use, Rewards And Alters Brain"

2010-12-01T11:26:00.003-05:00

Very interesting article on food's affect on the brain via NPR.

I definitely recommend reading it, especially for those of you, like me, who struggle with overeating, even with the band.

"Should 'fatties' get a room?"

2010-10-26T20:53:00.001-04:00

Have you guys seen this Marie Claire article?

Ridiculous. The writer is repulsed even to see a fat person walk across a room. I'm seriously shocked to even have such a thing published by a major women's magazine.

I'm not going to link directly to Marie Claire. Instead here's Jezebel's take on it.

http://jezebel.com/5673680/what-was-marie-claire-thinking-with-this-fatties-piece

Raw foods dinner party

2010-09-12T15:33:00.003-04:00

So the band behaved at the raw foods dinner party last night. I was certainly full full full with all of those veggies however. There's a real emphasis on incorporating protein in a raw foods diet so a lot of the dishes had nuts and were really quite good. My favorite was a really creamy, ground up pumpkin seed garlic dip that was just divine! I'd certainly make that for non-raw friends.

Another favorite was the almond milk, made with just almonds, water, vanilla and agave, a natural sweetener. Not sure what type of vanilla as the processing of things is important. From what I learned not only do raw foodists believe cooked food isn't as good for you, but some people think it's toxic to the body to consume things that aren't living.

Above is what I made, a raw "linguini" with a macadamia tomato sauce. It was actually quite good but time consuming. If I had a mandoline, I think it would have been much faster though. The "pasta" is really softened strands of parsnips and carrots.

Only one person at the dinner party actually eats raw, part-time, but to most of us it was just a very interesting exercise to learn more about the lifestyle and to experiment a bit. I wouldn't go that route diet-wise but I can certainly see the benefit of adding additional, healthier green foods to my diet!

In general, my band has been extremely sensitive lately, but somehow I managed to get through the whole meal without getting stuck.

Off to a Raw Foods Dinner Party

2010-09-11T18:13:00.003-04:00

I was invited to a raw "living" foods dinner party. It's been enlightening and fun to research. More soon on what I'm bringing. I am a bit worried about how band friendly it'll be. My recipe is a raw linguine and it has a bunch of raw carrot and parsnips. I dont think I've ever eaten a parsnip before.

Fingers crossed the band behaves!

Life Coach

2010-09-05T22:43:00.004-04:00

I went to an interesting event tonight. It was a dinner party but there was a presentation by a member of the group who happens to be a life coach.

I always imagined life coaches to be like cheerleaders creating S.M.A.R.T. plans, but she was clearly more thoughtful and seemed more like a really great therapist with LOTS of good advice.

Not sure what her rate would be, expensive I imagine, but it's something I'll think about. Really, I'd love to get Alex some sessions as he really seems to be at a crossroads in his life with the move and his professional situation etc.

Have any of you ever been to a life coach. I'm curious to hear about other people's experiences.

Tighter Band

2010-09-05T22:36:00.002-04:00

So as I've mentioned in recent posts, I've gained a bit of my weight back, and in recent weeks I've been noticing I'm tighter than usual and have more difficulty in eating certain foods and get stuck more often.

I think I recall hearing that weight loss causes a looser band, so does that mean that weight gain has the opposite effect? Hopefully it'll have positive results!

Eating healthier from the farmer's market

2010-08-22T16:36:00.003-04:00

After traveling TONS this summer, I finally have a break. Alex and I have agreed to eat more salads and whatnot now that we're both home. He was in LA for a few weeks.

I could use the extra energy from a healthier diet too. It's been a couple of days now and so far so good. I've been viewing it as a creative foodie challenge and bought a lot of things for my salads that i just LOVE, so it's not exactly a hardship since i love salads when they are really good ones.

Above is a photo of my loot from the farmer's market, and I'll end up with salads or veg-based meals with each of those ingredients above.

And the veg really does fill me up faster!

1 year bandiversary ;(

2010-08-11T22:15:00.004-04:00

Soooo I've really been dreading doing my 1-year bandiversary post because I haven't been as successful as I hoped.

Last year, I envisioned myself having lost 125 pounds by this point. But given where I am now (12 or so pounds down from my highest), I was completely prepared to do this post and officially declare myself a band failure. On the blogs, we see lots of examples of those who have been successful and I was prepared to put myself out there as an example of those who aren't. Especially for those considering the surgery to see a complete, honest picture of the lap-band experience.

I was thinking of myself as a band failure because I weigh more now than when I had the surgery. (The weight I lost was in the pre-surgery fast). And let me tell you, it feels super crappy to write that. Knowing that, I had been thinking of it as just one more diet i failed at.

I can't say I regret having the surgery. And everything I read and heard in advance about it was right. It's still hard work. The band is not an easy fix. My general practitioner warned me, "you can eat right through this thing." I can now officially say, he was correct.

Maybe the fact that i think of having had the surgery as no big deal is indicative. The band isn't intrusive, and I often forget I have it. Maybe if I'd paid a huge amount of money and sacrificed to have it, things would have been different? Honestly, I'm guessing not.

When I look back on this year, I realize I really only lost in the pre-surgery fast and then in the first 2 months. After that I just went back to my normal eating habits and didn't work at it. The band will NOT do the work for you. At the time, I pointed to all these things that happened in my life as excuses. And while I did have CRAZY upheaval this year, it doesn't matter. I choose to live a life where I encourage change and challenges and am often super busy or traveling, so I can't let that stop me from living a healthy life.

Everyone says it, but it's true. The band isn't a magic pill and it doesn't make it easy. It just reinforced that I really have major food issues and the band has in some ways brought even more to light my disordered eating. Like the fact that it doen't matter that french fries get stuck, I eat them anyway and just suffer through a bit of discomfort. The fact that sometimes I eat and feel crappy (whether physically or mentally) and I eat anyway. Or KEEP eating. The fact that I make poor food choices like sugar and caffeine that I know will make me feel bad in a couple of hours, and every day, I do it anyway.

If anything, since the band, i almost feel more compelled because I have to work harder at getting my fix.

I'm definitely eating liquids and sliders and chips, drinking liquids with meals, and making choices for types of food that will allow me to eat more or just taking a break so i can continue eating in a bit or just not listening to my body and eating anyway when I'm full. What I've learned is how to cheat which is just lame. I can still be "normal" at a business dinner and I can still eat the foods i like. I was so afraid pre-band of being a freak to people who didn't know. So I seem to have proved to myself that I can still eat like before.

If I listen, I'm full, so I haven't gone in for another fill. In that way the band is absolutely, 100% working. But eating literally has nothing to do with being full for me.

So with all of this in my head, I was very touched to read Catherine's comment on my last post. She clearly could tell some of what was in my head and I found it both touching that she would reach out and thought-provoking that I have another option than just saying it didn't work. It's a choice after all right. For whatever reason, I keep making the wrong choice when it comes to food, but I dont have to do that.

I consider myself to be a very competent, successful person. I've had a wonderful, adventurous life so far and have achieved every major thing I've set out to do. I even lost 100 pounds before. Of everything I've done in my life, that was by far my proudest accomplishment. But I gained it back and sort of lost myself after that. And now it's interesting because I feel really happy in my personal and professional lives, but when it comes to my self identity, I'm starting to simply accept myself as middle-aged and overweight. I guess officially declaring the band to not have worked and closing this blog (yes, I thought of that too) would mean giving up on myself.

I'm a bit fed up with all of my declarations and failed follow through. However, i know that every day I have a choice to make. And today, I will choose not to give up on myself.

Weight Gained Tracker

2010-08-03T12:08:00.001-04:00

My tracker should just say weight gained. I'm a bit nervous about doing my one-year review. Fast food has not been my friend.

Gains and losses

2010-07-20T07:31:00.000-04:00

Last week was my first of 5 trips. 6 if you count Houston.

So I had great intentions in regard to my eating, but I do what i always do when i work 16+ hour days and instead i just ate to get through it. All week I worked like a dog.

Next week marks the beginning of our summer sales meeting, and that means 1 year since the start of my pre-surgery diet. I don't really want to do a bandiversary write up now, but one interesting thing that happened this week was that I saw someone I hadn't seen in about a year, and he was raving about how great i look.

It really took me off guard because although i had lost about 40 pounds, I gained more than half back. So in my mind, I gained weight, but to him, since he hadn't seen me, I'm still lower than i was before and that made me feel good. It was certainly a reminder of how far those compliments go to spur on additional weight loss.

Peru Pics

2010-07-19T00:42:00.006-04:00

I just realized that I never shared photos from our trip to Peru. I would highly recommend it to anyone looking for exotic, beautiful, inexpensive travel. We were in Lima / Miraflores on the coast and then Arequipa up in the Andes mountains. We didn't at all miss that we didn't get to go Machu Picchu. The altitude would have really been too much for Alex. Someday though. This was his second trip since his Dad is Peruvian. It was my first visit, and I definitely plan on returning soon!

A few highlights from the trip are below. Or see more on Flickr.

Off to NYC

2010-07-11T02:11:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow starts the first of 5 trips i have in the next month. Two to NYC, two to CA and one to El Paso. I have mixed feelings about it, but I do know it'll be lots of work.

Usually I stay in a hotel when i got to NYC for work, but this time I'm staying in our company apartment. I'm not sure how I feel about it just yet, since I haven't stayed there before and it's a shared apt. We'll see!

I've decided to do low sugar next week to see if I can A) not get too crazy eating out since I'll be eating out for all my meals and B) increase my energy level since NYC always takes it out of me. Work will be so busy that I think I just really need all the energy I can get. Plus perhaps this small thing will be the boost I need to get back on track with my eating habits instead of letting travel derail me as it usually does.

I dont think derail is the right word though because i'm pretty much as off track as I could be at the moment.

I need to just make myself only eat when I'm hungry because these days, there is lots and lots of snacking going on in my house!

Still here

2010-07-05T14:04:00.002-04:00

Just living life. I'm actually really happy in Austin though Alex is having a hard time. Being back in Texas has lead to weight gain which i guess is part of why I haven't been posting. I don't want to complain or spend time justifying so I just haven't been posting. I kind of knew that the whole car, Texas, fast-food lifestyle would equal pounds added. One of the reasons I was so excited to move to NYC in the first place was to be more active.

But in this moment, I'm just loving being lazy and in other ways, I'm just so much more active and social in Austin since I can get around so much easier with my car. I just need to make better choices wherever I am.

I'll post again in a couple of days and see where my head is food-wise. Right now, I'm enjoying the last day of my 4th of July holiday weekend. We're house-sitting for my sister and it feels like a vacation rental with the pool and big screen tvs and "outdoor kitchen/bbq" and movie marathon. It's been a pretty fab holiday weekend!

Back from Peru

2010-06-16T00:23:00.004-04:00

We came back from Peru last week and things have been a bit chaotic. But the trip was awesome. In fact, I'm wondering why we came back?

The trip started off good and bad. The bad, we got bumped because of a volcano in Ecuador and ended up just waiting and waiting for a couple of days as result. The good was that Alex talked them into bumping us up into first class. Yay! That was fun. Above is a photo of just how big the seat belts are in first class. And that's a fancy menu under the seat belt. I've been bumped up a few times but given this was an international flight it was the most plush including a full reclining bed.

I had no trouble with the vegetarian thing but most of our trip we were in a town called Arequipa up in the Andes and I noticed that altitude affects tightness of the band! I definitely got full fast.

In general, with the type of big meals we were having on vacation, the band definitely did it's job. In fact, in one super high end restaurant in Lima, all the waiters were just oh so concerned about why I wasn't eating my entree!

I try to stay positive in general but this blog is where i can just let it all hang out there. Since we've been back life has just kind of sucked. Alex had a stomach virus when we got back, then i got a bad cold then today, Alex stepped on a manhole cover that wasn't secured and it flipped up and he tripped and fell and we ended up in the emergency room and he has a sprained knee.

On top of all that Alex had a second interview for a great full time gig this week and it was just a bomb. So he's just really unhappy and of course that makes me unhappy.

Otherwise, we really like Austin and I'm in a good place, but things won't really click into place until Alex finds a good job.

I'll share pics from the trip when i have them all ready!

Off to Lima Land

2010-05-28T16:27:00.002-04:00

I am so ready to be on vacation already. I like New York, but all week, I've just wanted to get the hell out of here!

One more day and I'm gone. But i'm handing over my computer so I wont have blog access until I'm back from Peru in a little more than a week.

I've been looking at pics of Lima and Arequipa to get psyched up! Here's a little something from Lima above.

Blogland privacy

2010-05-26T10:11:00.002-04:00

Catherine has a great post about band-privacy and bloggers. Despite the fact that we blog, many of us don't want others to know about our band. (For me, I've hidden this blog link on my profile, etc).

Catherine points out the importance of maintaining confidentiality if ever discussing a friend of colleague's blog. Very interesting.

http://chroniclesfrombandland.blogspot.com/2010/05/back-in-town-and-blog-etiquette.html

funky

2010-05-25T18:49:00.002-04:00

Not in a good way. feeling a smidge bad funky. Last week ended 4 days of veggie extravaganza, 4 pounds down, but on day 5 I caved and that same morning was up 2 pounds. Lame.

In general, I definitely got a lift from the effort however.

I'm in NYC for work this week then directly from here, Alex and I are off to Peru! Yay! Vacation!

I'm hoping to just not gain this week and next and then do weight watchers after that.

I had to pack for both trips (one rolling backpack, SO proud of myself). I definitely felt like I was off on vacation, except I wasn't and had to go to work. Work isn't too tough but it's a week of long meetings.

Not sure why but I'm just a bit off. Lack of interest. I'm fine at work but dont feel like doing anything. Even anything fun. Oh well.

I am looking forward to next week in Peru. Though I miss my pups!

And one more pound down for good measure

2010-05-20T10:55:00.003-04:00

There's nothing like losing weight to motivate you to stay on track!

I had a wretched night's sleep with these stitches in my head and on any other day I'd be off for a sugary frappe and pastry, but instead, I got on the scale and was thrilled to see another pound down.

Now, I can guess that the reason this has been so successful is because I was being SO bad before. But since I was so out of control with my eating, this was just the thing I needed to change my
mindset.

Another pound down and a little outpatient surgery

2010-05-19T14:56:00.004-04:00

I woke up to find myself another pound down today. Yay!

Otherwise, it hasn't been a fab day. I had a very minor surgical procedure this morning and now I have 8 stitches on my scalp and two very nasty looking scars. And they shaved a wee bit of my hair. This was all to remove two very large cysts. Ew!

They cut me up and sent me home and after having stayed up super late for an important work project I had due this afternoon and getting up relatively early for me for the procedure, I'm pooped. Plus I have no medicine for the post procedure pain. Which is fine, but it is super tender and I have a really wicked headache even after taking a couple of excedrin migraine. Normally just one does the trick.

Alex had driven me to the appointment and back and afterwards, he was like, "you want to drive through and get something? You've been so good and you deserve it since you just had surgery." OH NO! So this morning I said no but after work, with my raging headache, I broke down and had a frappe minus the whipped cream. And a bean burrito. I'm still within my current low daily calories window, but it did kind of blow my whole veggie extravaganza/no sugar/no carbs thing. Depending on what I do for the rest of the day, that will likely put me over a bit.

Bell pepper in a hole

2010-05-18T17:56:00.003-04:00

Mmm...had these for breakfast, minus the yolks and without any of the optional bread in the recipe.

I did baby red bell peppers however so they were smaller. The recipe post also suggests doing an cooked ring of onion with the egg inside. That was the BEST. The onion really complimented the egg flavor.

In general, I miss some of the sugar and carbs on my veggie extravaganza, but I *love* what I am able to eat. YUM!

Recipe and photo above from Gina's Recipes. Definitely a favorite website for healthy recipes.

Super Full

2010-05-18T14:35:00.002-04:00

Just one more reminder that the band friggin works in terms of making me full! I had half a can of beans with salsa, light sour cream and a smidge of cheese. And wow, I'm full!

I'm fine for now but my head doesn't entirely accept my stomach's conclusion that no more food is necessary!

The great thing about this week's veggie extravaganza (even if it's beans in this case) is that this type of eating allows me to eat so much and still be so low in calorie count!

2 pounds down for cranky pants

2010-05-18T12:02:00.003-04:00

Not sure why but I am a TOTAL cranky pants today. Maybe it's the results of yesterdays diet and lack of sugar. It feels more hormonal than that. These are the days when I would normally just EATTTT but not today. I'm sticking with this.

I'm finding the biggest challenge is just that i'm really into my food being instant, grabbable and convenient and veggies dont allow a ton of that. I tried to eat quick carrots yesterday but got stuck so i had to steam them.

All I've had today was a skim half-caf hot coffee. I enjoyed half of it and didn't even want the rest. I don't really want to eat but the problem with that is that come lunch I'll be crazy ravenous so i have to avoid that.

The good news is that I'm 2 pounds down already! I'm sure not entirely from 1 day of dieting but whatever, I'll take it! I think maybe yesterday's 2 pounds up was a fluke, but I'm happy. I'm heading in the direction I wanted which is what this week is all about. A kick start and a break from my total sugar / carb addiction!

Dr. K was right!

2010-05-17T23:21:00.002-04:00

Before I left NYC, when I saw Dr. Kurian and told her about our move, she mentioned to me that I might have trouble finding a doctor who would take patients who had already been banded. She said that some bariatric doctors prefer to take on follow up care only for their own patients.

My interpretation was that it just isn't profitable enough for them to handle maintenance.

There are a few lap-band places here in Austin, so I called the one that was recommended to me today to get an appointment for a fill, and I was told about their approval process.

The receptionist explained how the panel of doctors needs to see my paperwork and decide whether or not they'll accept me. She explained that since I haven't had problems since the surgery and since I had the surgery in NYC because I lived there at the time, that they would likely accept me. She added that mostly, they just don't want all the people going to Mexico for surgery (especially here in TX I guess?) ending up as their patients to take care of.

I was a bit shocked that she said that so openly! And in many ways it fits with what Dr. K had warned me about, though I guess I won't have a problem being approved.

She asked my pre-surgery and current weight and then said, oh yes, you really do need some follow up! : (

So now I have to put together my documentation for them and wait to be approved by their committee!

Veggie Extravaganza

2010-05-17T23:03:00.002-04:00

Today was day 1 of 5 of my veggie extravaganza. I just needed a major kick start so my rules are all-vegetables plus a very limited amount of skinny proteins and protein shakes. I'm allowing a piece of fruit too as a treat.

I'm trying to stay at around 1000 calories a day so I'm counting calories too.

The twist is that I decided that I'd get into foodie-mode making the vegetable dishes. That's my challenge and what keeps my mind occupied. So today for lunch I made a lima bean, pea, onion and red pepper salad with a little balsamic and salt and pepper. SOO SOO good! I never would have thought of it except that a friend and I had a sample of something similar recently. I switched it up a bit. I'll post a link to the exact recipe on my other blog soon.

For an early dinner, I made a pasta- and oil-free version of this asparagus and mushroom dish with tomatoes, garlic, soy bacon crumbles, and a smidge of parmesan cheese.

I was doing really well until we went to run some errands and went to the grocery store. That really made me want to binge on cookies and sweets. So instead I got a sugar free fudge pop. Didn't totally do the trick and when i got home I found myself eating a little bit of peanut butter. But it's a protein and I kept it in my food count.

I just want to get rid of all the sugar and carbs in my system this week, lose a couple of pounds (this morning the scale was up ANOTHER 2 pounds since yesterday!), and just be in a better mindset. From there, I might start Weight Watchers when we're back from our NYC / Peru trips. Something I'm more likely to be able to maintain from here on out.

My first VLOG

2010-05-16T15:16:00.005-04:00

My first VLOG. I meant to do it before the haircut, but oh wells! There was one particular vlogger whose before and after videos were so significant it was as though she wasn't even the same person. Her entire persona changed. Check it out here. I kind of want that in terms of how I carry my weight, etc.

So here's the "before." I'd be happy with even 50 or 55 more pounds down for an "after."

More to come on the veggie extravaganza I have planned this week to get back on track! I'm approaching it as a cooking challenge to make it more interesting. Check back for all my creative veggie meals.

And for those of you who read this post / watch my video, please leave a comment! It felt like a big deal doing a web video and I'd love to hear from you guys!

Being honest with the weight tracker

2010-05-16T14:15:00.001-04:00

I mention in my VLOG that the scale is up. So to stay honest, I've finally updated my weight tracker on the right. Overall, I've gained back 15 pounds in the past 6 months. I'm still 25 pounds down however from my highest pre-surgery weight.

I seem to have landed at the same damn weight I always was. It's interesting how we settle in at certain weights. My clothes are tighter and I'm certainly not going up again in clothes sizes, so here's where I check myself and fix this.

UPDATE: Today the scale went up another 2 lbs since yesterday! Hopefully those are temporary be gone tomorrow pounds however...

Before and After HAIR

2010-05-16T12:57:00.002-04:00

Sometimes my hair is a reflection of my mental state. Frizzy hair in a pony tail with bad roots = blah blah blah.

So I decided I was in need of a major shake up. I liked the short bob some of you might remember from earlier this year, but this time I wanted more change. Since my last major cut, it had grown out and was just overgrown. Before and after cut above. (Didn't get before and after cut and color! oops!)

So now I have bangs and an asymmetrical bob. Plus a new darker color. The lighter color I had was pretty brassy. I'm loving the new color and all my gray is covered!

Alex snapped this photo below of my brassy color and bad roots when we went strawberry picking. That was just the last straw!

I used to wear my hair like this in high school, so it was a bit of a flash back. The major difference is that my hair is so much thinner than before, especially the bangs, but I'm happy with it for now. It definitely served the purpose I needed it to in terms of change.

Time to Fess Up! I've been a bit out of control

2010-05-16T00:04:00.000-04:00

When even Alex is making comments about my eating, I know it's time to suck it up and do something. Some of it might be working from home too. I just want to friggin eat ALL THE TIME! Snack snack snack!

People talk about the band and healthy eating not being "a diet" and all, but for me, I just need rules and restrictions and some discipline otherwise it's an all out feeding frenzy. All the weight is just creeping back on. For whatever reason I have ZERO interest in exercise, but I was thinking it would be quite lovely to eat lots of fresh veg and just stick to that cooking and being creative. I'm also going to give the Wii fit a shot.

So I've decided to try and kick start myself and lose a few pounds so my clothes fit again(!) I'm going to do a variation of my pre-surgery diet. Some protein shakes and lots and lots of fresh veg! We went shopping today and I'm all stocked up.

Usually once I get a start, that helps in making me want to do more exercise more.

A Better Day

2010-04-27T21:05:00.001-04:00

Today was a very interesting day. After my funky post yesterday, Alex and I had a long talk about our goals and then we watched the movie An Education. Phenomenal movie by the way. I think between those three things (and all the support from you guys), I was just thinking about change and what's good in life and that definitely put me in a better more proactive mood.

Working from home today was still a bit of a downer at first, though i was at my desk and in my work clothes once again. I was a bit on the slow side but productive.

And Alex and I are recording what we eat. Always a major thing for me in regards to success. For me, writing down what i eat consistently works!

Alex has been working out a lot and he decided to try no-carb today but tonight he was just going crazy thinking about what he can't have. Literally a bit crazy. Have rarely seen him like this. And that was after he caved a wee bit and had some carbs.

He's big on the no carb approach since it's worked well for him before, but I try and remind him that Weight Watchers worked well for him before too! And that we can do together.

I have been really impressed with his workout regimen however. I think for him, that's pretty key to his weight loss. And my guess is he needs a fill, but he's not convinced!

I need a new ticker showing weight gained

2010-04-26T19:52:00.000-04:00

I checked the scale again this morning and it's three pounds up. And instead of being in diet mode today, I'm just depressed (I doubt in reaction to the scale), and instead, I just want to eat.

This is that oh so familiar terrain of my "just get through the day" or even the moment food mantra.

[//sound of me chompering on a McDonald's apple pie.]

I'm being a wah wah baby (as Alex likes to say)

2010-04-26T17:25:00.001-04:00

Alex's favorite expression is wah wah baby. Like when I'm complaining or in general unhappy with the world.

So today I'm just in a funk. No real explanation. I'm sure working from home isn't helping. I need to be more disciplined about working at my desk, wearing proper work clothes, etc.

I got up and showered as I do every single day. I haven't been so bad as to just work from the bed (ha!) but I chose my velour pants and snuggled up on the couch with my laptop all day. Why this would make a huge difference mentally over working at my desk is crazy. But it matters.

And I knew that and did it anyway because I was just oh so comfortable on the couch. Me and comfortable don't always work well together. I need a little discipline and discomfort in my life it seems!

That's definitely a metaphor for my food and exercise habits too.

Inconsistent band

2010-04-24T12:01:00.001-04:00

I know most of you out there have experienced this. Last night, I wasn't even feeling the band. I'm starting a new kick cooking and eating healthier at home. Had my dinner with proteins and veg and was shocked that I wasn't full after. I kept saying I was "hungry" though that's a relative thing.

But I was a smidge hungry so I had more, and then a little more after that. I got satisfied though never full.

Now, I'm trying to eat a couple of strawberries and I'm full. I needed this restriction last night!

As I approach my bandiversary

2010-04-23T10:46:00.002-04:00

I need to reflect on my forthcoming bandiversary this summer. To me, that is the beginning of the liquid diet pre-surgery which was mid-July.

So basically, in 3 months, it will be 1 year since this all began. And honestly, I'm not at all happy with where I am in this process. The band works, but I find lots and lots of ways to sabotage myself.

The truth is that I only lost weight in the first 2 months. Much of it in the fast before the surgery. It's true that I've had an obscene amount of change this year, but I'm kind of tired of excuses. I see only more change coming in terms of wanting to get pregnant and have kids. So now's the time lady!!

So what will it take for me to feel like I've had some success this year? A MINIMUM of 50 lbs lost. Really, I expected to have lost 100. But that's not where it's at for me. So if I'm going to be real, at least 50 down is where it's at. That's 20 more pounds in 3 months.

Perhaps I need to get back on that pre-surgery diet where I could eat veg and broth and protein shakes. All those fresh greens were so wonderful!

Am the only one who keeps eating the same foods even though I get stuck on them?

2010-04-22T23:55:00.000-04:00

Speaking of getting stuck (my post on eggs yesterday), am I the only one who just keeps on eating the same foods even though I get stuck (a bit) on them when I eat them?

Mostly, it's breads. But since I just sit up straight and give it a minute and it usually passes, I haven't given up those foods altogether.

Am I the only one?

I was thinking back on some past comments suggesting that perhaps I wasn't getting more fills because that would mean I couldn't keep eating the foods I wanted to. I took that comment in the spirit it was intended, as helpful and supportive. At the time, I don't think that was true. I was just appropriately full. However, now, that might just be the case. I like that I'm "normal" when I go out to eat with people and it's not all that obvious that I'm "different." I may eat less than others but I don't feel like an outcast or anything!

But the compromise there is that I'm giving up potential weight loss in order to keep eating, bottom line. Time to challenge myself a bit more!

A commitment to VLOG

2010-04-22T23:51:00.000-04:00

I've decided that pre-haircut and the mini-makeover I have planned for myself, I will VLOG. I'm putting that out there rather than actually do it, so that I'm held accountable. I want video of my "BEFORE" -- meaning that I have NOT given up on losing more weight! A little part of me thought maybe I had.

I'm not doing it tonight however, as I'm still suffering from shingles, and just don't want to make all of you gals suffer through that!

I'm thinking next week, when I'm healed up, pre-hair cut, would be the perfect time!

Time to suck it up and find a new Dr here in Texas

2010-04-22T23:25:00.001-04:00

I haven't been in a hurry to find a new bariatric center here in Austin since I didn't really feel like I need a fill. I get stuck often enough which was making me feel like I have enough restriction for the time being.

However, in reading the blogs lately, I'm thinking I could use one given all that I'm able to eat. Plus, of course, I know the more you go in for support post surgery, the more successful you are. It might even be worthwhile for me to go to some support meetings. I'm going to look them up and see how I feel about that!

I don't remember exactly where I am fill-wise, but I think it could be as high as 8cc's out of 10. Of course, there's that mysteriously disappearing fill syndrome, so who knows if I'm still that full up!

I have actually asked for and more recently gotten recommendations on Austin lap-band doctors. ~~So I have a good place to start: the~~ ~~Austin Bariatric Clinic~~. Dr. K actually warned me that some surgeons won't want to take on new patients post surgery, but hopefully since this is a whole clinic dedicated to the cause, that won't be a problem.

Gotta take care of me!

(Whew! Posted this to the right blog this time!)

OOPS! Got the recommendation wrong. Just found the paper from the doctor. It's actually http://www.southwestbariatric.com/

Oops! Just posted about my BAND on my OTHER blog

2010-04-22T23:22:00.000-04:00

So only a select few know about my band, so I had a BIT of a SHOCK when i just accidentally posted about my band on my other blog, a little dabble!

THAT got deleted quick.

That post about a new lap-band doctor here in Austin to come here in a few.

However, I did just do a Dabble post on the new haircut I plan to get. I was inspired watching the all-day Project Runway marathon since I'm home sick today. I'm not caught up yet though so I don't know who wins.

I'm going to need a nice new cut, color (and preferably wardrobe boost) to shake off the ugly blahs from having shingles on my face!

Do you guys get stuck on eggs?

2010-04-21T16:02:00.000-04:00

I'm totally into eggs these days. Great protein, easy, always on hand, not too high in calorie. However, I get frustrated because I'm always getting stuck on the darn things.

I guess I make them too dry.

Anyone else out there have this problem? I've never read about this being a problem band food!

I keep trying to undercook them but when I see them runny I feel the urge to cook them longer and end up making them as I always do.

I also add hot sauce sometimes but this is never enough "sauce" to prevent them from sticking.

Exercise! Walking Town Lake

2010-04-21T11:35:00.005-04:00

Even being sick with shingles, hanging around the house too much depresses me (especially since I work from home). I'm all about getting some sun (more for mental health than anything else), so every day I have to have all the blinds open, and I just have to get outside.

The dermatologist I saw after the doctor actually recommended fresh air and sun for helping to heal, so there's another added benefit. Plus I just need distractions from the shingles, otherwise I get a bit crazy.

One of the reasons we chose our current apartment is that there's so much green space around us where we can walk the dogs and be out and about. Pretty much every morning, Alex and I walk the dogs together, but we don't always go over to the lake. So that's our new plan. Consistently. We're already up and out walking the dogs together, so why not make it proper exercise by walking the dogs in a loop around the lake. The dogs certainly love it. I need to figure out how to work the gym into my schedule after that, but one thing at a time so I don't get overwhelmed and bail on too much change.

I found a map of the lake above. For a bigger version click here. We're on the north side of the lake, so for now we start by going across the First St. bridge, then over past the dog park and back up the Lamar bridge and home. That's a mile and a half. Not terribly long, but a good start, and manageable time wise in the morning before work. According to the google pedometer, I burned 277 calories doing it. And based on the map above, we can add legs to the walk as we progress.

The other change is cooking more at home. This weekend, I'm going to do a proper grocery shopping trip for all the staples and plan out my meals. Especially my lunches!

Every step counts.

I have some pics of our walk around the lake from another morning that I'll post later. It's a good start to the day!

Shingles

2010-04-19T21:11:00.000-04:00

I've mentioned any number of times that I eat when I am stressed. Lots of us do. Well on this most recent trip to NYC for business, I was super stressed out and actually came back having lost a smidge of weight. However, the other thing I came back with was Shingles. Supposedly, at my age, brought on by stress.

The part that of course bothers me is that it's on my face...and my head.

Lovely!

In my review at work, my boss said to work less. Problem is that he didn't say what he was going to do to specifically reduce my workload.

I must admit, the stress from having all this crap on my face is making me want to eat! ; (

I sucked it up and weighed myself

2010-04-09T00:49:00.000-04:00

So I've been more active since moving to Texas. Walk, walk, walk... I have some pics I need to share of Town Lake. It's just so pretty outside that I love being out and about.

The counter to that though is that with all this travel and working like a dog and just my very nature, I have been eating out for most meals. We need to just suck it up and go full on shopping and start cooking again!

I keep telling myself to at least write everything I eat down, even when I go overboard. But then I get caught up in work and only end up with a half days calories documented.

The other thing I hadn't done was weigh myself. We packed up the scale in Feb and only just unpacked it recently. So this morning, I got on the scale. Up 6 pounds in three months. Not the right direction. Surprisingly I'm okay with it, but not sure i should be. I guess maybe I thought it would be worse.

Time to update the sidebar tickers! I'll have to give some thought to what I can do to change my attitude mentally. The band is working in the literal sense but my head is the same as it ever was.

Trip to the Emergency Room!

2010-04-03T13:16:00.001-04:00

Hopefully I can share this warning with those of you out there with high blood pressure or loved ones with high bp.

After a lovely morning walking around the lake earlier this week, Alex and I talked about lunch and he said he wasn't hungry. Then we ran a quick errand, and he was saying he felt nauseous. Got back to the apartment and he started throwing up.

I just assumed that he had a stomach bug but after about an hour he asked to go to the emergency room. He said he'd just never felt like that before. I have to admit when I thought it was a stomach bug, it seemed extreme to go to the hospital, but I'm so glad that we did considering how things turned out!

He's fine now, but it turned out that his blood pressure was up near 200, and that was causing intense headaches and nausea. Given the headache, they did a cat scan just as a precaution, but he was all clear.

Alex had high blood pressure problems in the past but after the band, it had gone back to normal and our general practitioner had said he could go off his RX. Obviously, without medication, it had gone back up, but he didn't know.

We followed up post-ER visit with our new doctor who gave him a stronger prescription, and his numbers are lower already. The doctor said to take it easy and be cautious with the walks and exercise but that he can continue walking, etc.moderately.

We also got him an at home blood pressure monitor though it's pretty unreliable in its readings. Might need to try a wrist one instead.

Bottom line, is that high blood pressure can sneak up on you and you have to take it seriously! I certainly will from now on!

Hanging out poolside

2010-04-02T23:44:00.000-04:00

Today was such a gorgeous day I decided to go for a swim in the late afternoon. I've been back in Austin since Wednesday and am exploring everything now. I figured that since it had been in the 80s all day, the water would be nice and warm.

Turns out that I was wrong! It was rather chilly. Even after getting in and trying to get used to it.

The pool area is just lovely however. So much so that I even got Alex to hang out there for a while. I'll definitely be back.

The gym is down next to the pool as well, though I haven't done much more than scope it out.

We were the only ones in the pool area. There's a pic of me below. I wasn't all that shy in my swimsuit until Alex reminded me that alllll of the apartments above look down on the pool!

I LOVE Boston!

2010-03-27T12:52:00.000-04:00

I'm at a conference right now in Boston which reminds me a) all the reasons I really do love my job and b) just how awesome the city of Boston is!

I always intended to move back to Boston after I moved away to go teach English in Istanbul. However, despite all my efforts, life had other things in store for me!

So, here I am this week, 4 or 5 years after my last visit. 10 or so years since I lived here.

Mostly I'm working which has been great, but a couple of times, I've gotten to get out and have dinner or a meal with friends, colleagues and/or customers.

Eating so many fabulous meals out with others really reinforced that despite the fact that sometimes I *think* I can eat a fair amount, really compared to everyone else at every meal I've eaten, my portions are just tiny. A few people have said, oh will that be enough? LOVE IT!

And since I'm so busy working and satisfied with hanging out etc, I've turned down lots of opportunities to eat bad things. Like fancy desserts, chips, etc. A small amount REALLY does satisfy me. And for whatever reason, I'm not wanting to snack at all like I was before.

I do have to take it easy eating and talking. Make sure everything goes down well of course!

More sight seeing tonight and tomorrow. Can't wait!

I know I'm fat but...

2010-03-24T23:47:00.000-04:00

It's a bit ridiculous that the arms on the desk chair in this hotel room are so narrow that my butt almost gets stuck getting out of the thing!

You might think it would encourage me to lose weight, but instead it just makes me wonder why the chair is so poorly designed! ; )

We're finally, officially in our new apartment!

2010-03-24T23:45:00.000-04:00

Yayy!!! We moved into our new apartment this Saturday. Unfortunately, I didn't get to stick around long as I'm already away on a business trip in Boston for a week.

Every where i go, there's crappy crappy rain. Alex just posted this pic of some crazy lightning outside our apartment in Austin. Here in Boston it's been rainy too. I'm off to New York after Boston, and guess what the forecast calls for?

I don't have pics of our new apartment yet (it would be all boxes if I did); however, this is the view from our balcony. (The one from Alex with the lightning and rain).

And I'm pleased to say that the pics I posted previously of our apartment (which were from the model unit) are pretty much identical to the actual apartment. We had only seen a larger model unit, never the actual thing before we moved in.

The layout, fixtures and all the little details are just the same as our apartment. Loving the place, but I'll be away for another week before I can enjoy it some more.

So I'm supposed to be working from home...

2010-03-11T18:26:00.003-05:00

But really, this is how I spend my time all day!

The first one is me with my two dogs and my mom's dog Charlie.

The second photo is Alex's Vanity Fair-esque shot of the dogs -- both ours and my mom's two dogs (so from left to right, Brit, Charlie, Cali and JJ).

And I suppose I do get some work done on occasion too!

Tomorrow I start working from home

2010-03-07T21:50:00.004-05:00

Tomorrow is my first day working from home. Permanently.

I've had lots of thoughts about getting bored or depressed working from home. Or not working enough during the day and then having to work at night to make up the time, or just working all the time.

One thing I haven't really thought about however, or feared, is eating all day being at home. I'm thinking I can't be as bad as I was with that vending machine at work! Assuming I avoid the delivery and fast food trap.

There's the main, HUGE Whole Foods on 6th and Lamar not too far from us, so I'm thinking when I want to go out I can take a wander over there for a fab salad for lunches.

I also just posted something on one of my other blogs about getting an espresso machine to avoid too many Starbucks or morning breakfast outings.

For the time being however, I have two more weeks in Houston before we officially move to our new place in Austin. So I'm kind of between homes for a little while. I'm quite curious to see how two weeks of working in limbo is.

Snacking less but in sugar shock

2010-03-06T21:33:00.003-05:00

Overall, I'm finding that I'm snacking a bit less with our new schedule. Snacking is my utter downfall, so this is definitely a good direction to be heading in.

However, I'm in a bit of sugar shock right now as I offered to make cupcakes for my niece's birthday next weekend and tonight was the trial run. I want the icing and decoration to be just perfect, and I was definitely in need of practice.

If anyone is wondering, cupcakes go down just fine. And I'd say I'm at my sweet spot fill-wise right now. I can say that after 2 and a half of them. (They were small and pretty "airy," and I ate them over about an hour or so. I decided just to make that my dinner.

Grocery shopping is a joy again!

2010-03-05T22:13:00.003-05:00

I'm on vacation this week and lounged a bit too much yesterday. It was only my second day off but a good reminder that I need to stay active to feel good. Too much sleep and indulgence is a bad thing for me.

So today we got up early, ran a bunch of errands and made our way to the local Kroger. I've mentioned my experiences grocery shopping in New York City previously, and shopping in Houston is just such a drastically different experience. A lovely, wonderful experience!

Yesterday, we actually went to WalMart and that I found a bit depressing and too suburban, but Kroger today was great. The selection, the veggie options, the incredible prices, the wide aisles(!!) and the friendly service.

The best part is that now that we have groceries, I'm no longer stuck in the cycle of fast food eating!

Simple things I know, but we're still living out of suitcases until we move to Austin two weeks from now.

A new life in Texas!

2010-03-04T15:20:00.003-05:00

So after many days packing and a three long days of driving, we arrived in Houston early Tuesday evening just in time to have our dogs meet up with my moms two dogs in the park near her place. This was recommended to make sure they all get along okay at Mom's house.

Our new apartment in Austin isn't available until March 20th, so we're crashing with my mom for 2 weeks.

Once we left our apartment in Brooklyn, I felt such a sense of freedom. For at least the three days we were on the road, without an apartment, not having to work or check email or anything, I felt like I had no responsibilities. It was incredibly freeing and fun.

And I love technology because it totally made our drive! We had the GPS on my G1 phone for directions, Alex's music mix on his iphone, a Starbucks GPS finder for anytime i felt like a nice strong coffee. Alex even had an app showing the cheapest gas.

I could really see the difference with Alex and his most recent fill. It definitely helped and he was eating less than me!

Now i just have to figure out my eating in Houston. I'm definitely out of my routine, and for the last two days have been totally vegging out and relaxing.

The weather is completely glorious so I should take the dogs for some long walks. I did one the first day we got here and i can say it ain't easy walking four little dogs at once!!

Tonight, we're off to watch my nephew in a school show. Usually I'm never around for this kind of thing so it should be fun.

One last late night in the office

2010-02-25T19:30:00.002-05:00

So I suppose you could say I'm procrastinating on getting the rest of my stuff done since I'm here on my blog posting!

I still need to finish my work projects before my "vacation" / cross country drive. I also have to finish packing up and cleaning my cube and then go home and pack up for the rest of our stuff to ship out tomorrow.

But instead of doing all that I'm here blogging and checking facebook. For a momentary break anyway.

I don't find myself nostalgic about the move at all. Very excited and happy! And busy. I can't wait for the next couple of days to be over and for us to get on the road already.

Anyone want some free Juice Plus Supplements

2010-02-24T23:03:00.003-05:00

I have a bunch of unused, unopened SEALED bottles of the powdered Juice Plus supplements that NYU recommends for band and bypass patients. I never ended up taking them, I prefer the chewables, but they are perfectly good and were not cheap.

Consider this the sisterhood of the supplements.

Any takers? I'm moving and I honestly can't bear to toss this out considering what I paid for it!

I'm hoping to get someone who is interested by tomorrow (Thursday) so I can drop it in the mail before we move. U.S. only pleaseeee...

Highs and lows

2010-02-23T22:25:00.002-05:00

Feeling a bit worn out. Maybe that's just because it's 10.30 pm, I just got home and now I'm looking around at all the stuff I have to pack. And thinking about an "urgent" work project that was due 2 weeks ago! ack! Three more days to get all our packing done and now i'm starting to stress. It'll get done I feel confident. I'm in a better place than with other moves (thanks to Alex) however, I'm just wondering how late I'll have to stay up to make it all work.

We're selling everything and getting rid of stuff on Craigslist and people are such flakes. They just don't show, so poor Alex is all stressed. After making arrangements with our landlords and everything to get the couch out through their hallway, the guy didn't come. Very lame. The other person didn't come and didn't call too for our entertainment center.

So those are the lows. The highs are that I just feel so great about my job. I'm crazy excited about our move to Austin and all the possibilities. I'm even looking forward to the time off and the cross country drive. And tonight was fun because I got to hang out with my friend Nora. We went to Max Brenner, a fancy chocolate/dessert place here in NYC in Union Square. Incredibly decadent, but I don't feel bad at all because the band only allowed me to eat a fraction of what I ordered.

Yay for the band!

I'm going to motor through the rest of this week and revel in having next week off.

My most recent fill and addictive eating

2010-02-20T23:39:00.002-05:00

Those of you who follow this blog know that I struggle with poor eating habits or emotional eating. And really its more than that. There are times when I'm full, and I just keep eating because I'm seeking something more than taste or sustenance from the food. And that's where the band doesn't fix the problem. The mental reasons we eat. I watched something on TV last night about addictive eating and that of course is the heart of it.

You can't go cold turkey, you have to eat something, so it's a challenge. And if I'm honest, I basically just stopped taking responsibility for my eating for a while post band, because I thought, hey, isn't the band supposed to be doing the work, not me?

I had a fill before LA, and it really put me at a sweet spot and that helped a bit to get my head straight. Unless the band loosens a bit, I definitely would not want any more of a fill. I can eat but not too much. I get stuck on occasion but don't really have any problems with PBs etc. I think I'm in a good place.

It's been less than in weeks past, but there still have been occasions where I just want to binge basically. Binge is a relative thing of course. I don't mean shove food in my face as fast and as much as I can. But I do mean getting soda, chips, and candy bar and chowing down.

I tend to want to do this when I get home from work. But what happens if I'm already full, I shouldn't still want to eat that junk. But I do anyway. And in fact, it's hard to talk myself out of it. It's just in my head that it'll make me feel better. And it does, that's the problem.

Alex had a large fill this week, and it did a lot to help limit how much he can eat. It's good for he and I to both be on the same page about meals, etc. So that will hopefully help us both be good influences on the other.

I wonder about this addictive eating thing. I expected all the band blogs to deal with this issue very regularly, but I only see a few bloggers talk about patterns similar to mine.

Curious how many of you out there deal with these same issues and how they affect your weight loss success.

Lap-Band Billboards

2010-02-20T23:35:00.004-05:00

I wanted to post this pic from my trip to California last week. We were driving a lot in LA and everywhere we went, I saw these billboards for the Lap-Band surgery. I wasn't really a fan of them though because they made it seem like a quick fix and almost like a cosmetic surgery or a pill you pop.

In fact, I was thinking I definitely would not tell my LA friends and family especially after seeing the way it's promoted there. I'd be afraid people wouldn't take me seriously with it.

Those of us who are banded already struggle with people who think we take the easy way out, and this definitely just makes it worse.

Back from LA

2010-02-16T18:59:00.003-05:00

Whew! What a whirlwind life has been lately. So as you know, I'm moving to Austin, and now we're down to the last TWO weeks! Crazy. I FINALLY got to make the big announcement at work today, so I was pretty much gabbing with everyone all day long! When I'd say I was moving to Austin, they all assumed i was leaving the company, but nope! And they were all relieved when I said I wasn't which makes you feel good.

I had a last minute business trip to LA last week which was fab. GORGEOUS weather, especially when compared to all the snow in NYC. Totally missed the whole storm. Yay!

I had less free time than expected, but work-wise it was just excellent. Visited with lots of customers, was really motivated job-wise and had a lot of fun with my coworkers. A great opportunity for professional growth too.

I had been a bit nervous about getting a fill right before the trip given all the business meals etc, but that turned out okay.

It's interesting because for some meals with our managers and one of our authors, I felt like I had to explain why i was eating so little, and then for other meals with my aunt and uncle (who i visited on the last day), I felt like i was eating a lot! I probably ate the same in both situations however.

So much to love about LA including the scenery, all the posh-ness ;), and that FAB weather. However, the crazyyyyy traffic, not so much. And somehow I thought the traffic wouldn't bother me after driving in New York!

Looks like I'll be traveling lots more for this new job. Mostly in and around Texas since they want to take advantage of having me living / working "in the field" but I'll probably be all over the US in general. I'm cool with it, but we'll have to see how Alex reacts. I keep telling him to expect it, so we'll see how it goes!

Do you gurgle and make noises?

2010-02-04T17:18:00.003-05:00

So I was talking to a friend a while back who doesn't know I have the band, and she was talking about a different friend of hers who does (rather judgementally, just reaffirming why I haven't told her.)

One of the things she mentioned was that this friend "makes noises." Her stomach gurgles and makes all sorts of sounds after she eats.

And for some reason after that I started paying more attention and noticing that my stomach also gurgles. Sometimes it sounds like it's growling, other times like it's "processing." It's not related to gas or an upset stomach or anything like that. I just make weird noises. HA!

At first it was just at night in bed, Alex would hear it and chuckle. But as I get additional fills, I've started hearing it at work too.

Just every once in a while, nothing too embarassing yet. But it caught my attention when my friend brought up the topic. I'd hate for her to hear my tummy and with all the other clues figure out my little secret!

Have any of you experienced this? And it's new post-band right?

Today is my 6 month bandiversary

2010-02-04T12:14:00.002-05:00

In general, not sure how I feel about that. I do know that despite not having lost as much weight as I could have, I am definitely glad I got the band. It just makes me pay more attention and makes me more accountable.

And with one or two exceptions in regard to experiences, in general I'm not a freak or outcast when it comes to other people who don't know about the band. I'm still pretty normal overall. I'll have to write about this new tummy gurgling thing soon though.

And the good is that my blood pressure is normal now, and I have lost 35 pounds.

However, I'm glad it was covered by insurance. Had I spent all that in cash or even a large deductible, I would be quite upset about my current status.

I'll write more later on this topic...

Got the ok to get pregnant (and a hug from Dr. K)

2010-02-03T21:42:00.002-05:00

So today's visit with Dr. K turned out to be a good one. I hadn't been to the NYU office in 6 weeks as it turned out, and in that time, I gained 6 pounds.

I wasn't surprised by that as I've been watching the scale, but of course the question came as to why.

I told her the truth which is just that I've been struggling with emotional eating, and I've had a fair amount of stress. She was surprisingly receptive when I told her about Alex being laid off and all the lay offs at my company and how I was reorganized into a new job. And now the move.

Despite the office itself being totally slammed, Dr. K was calm and spent more time than usual with me. She did say she thought it might be hard to find a Lap-Band doctor willing to take on a patient who they didn't operate on which surprised me. But I am going to send her my list of doctors, and she'll make a recommendation from there.

I also asked her about whether I had the okay to get pregnant and she said yes!! So we're in the clear! We'll probably take our time with all that's going on though.

And I got a hug from her when I was leaving. Certainly the first time a doctor has hugged me.
It was a very nice visit overall.

I also got a fill, one of the easiest ones. .3 ccs. We'll see how it works.

Dr. K tomorrow

2010-02-02T22:03:00.002-05:00

I'm feeling a bit nervous about seeing Dr. K tomorrow since I've gained a few pounds since my last visit. Granted without the band, and with all this stress and change over the last few months, I'd have gained all my weight back plus another 30 I'm sure!

But I know Dr. K can be tough so I'm cringing about going in tomorrow. Last time I went in I saw Gaspar instead since he was easier to book.

I'm off to finish watching the Lost season premiere now and finish rewriting a report I worked late last night finishing. Arg...

No matter how hard I try...

2010-02-02T20:57:00.002-05:00

...french fries just aren't as good post-band!

It's like my mind knows that they are bready and not so band friendly! And I have tried! It's weird that my actual taste would change? Not sure what that's about!

Fill moved up!

2010-02-01T22:13:00.002-05:00

Turns out I have a business trip next week to LA, kind of a last minute thing. I'll be presenting technology to some customers and then will be making some other visits with our reps and managers. Kind of a new thing for me in my new job as marketing product manager.

Given that I'll be gone, I had to reschedule my fill appointment with Dr. K and this Wed was all they could give me. I'll take it!

I find myself having more trouble eating bread and whatnot, so I'm thinking with this next fill I'll be more like many of the other bandsters out there who can't eat breads, etc.

Actually had a smidge of trouble with a leafy salad the other day, though I had another today without really any trouble. But I must admit I was cautious and chewed, chewed, chewed. The more I have issues with things going down, the more I chew. A good thing I suppose.

Pick pocket

2010-02-01T12:40:00.004-05:00

What a lame day so far, and it doesn't help that its Monday.

Woke up not feeling well. I've just felt like I've had a lingering cold for a week or two now and had a sore throat this morning. Just couldnt sleep last night at all which makes getting up earlier than usual hard.

We had to go to the DMV this morning so I could get a NY State license since we bought our new car here. The place was packed but I'm shocked to say, well organized. No frills though. You need a pen, you buy one. See below. I'd never seen that before!

So we waited in one line, then a second line, finally a third line and I got my temp NY license. Unfortunately, that's when Alex realized he no longer had his cell phone. We had just been sitting looking at it together reading an email, so we knew exactly when he had it. Then he slipped it in his pocket, the place was mad busy, he goes back to his pocket and it's gone. Not on the ground or anything. Given that we both knew he had just had it, it had to be a pick pocket. Perfect location too since it was so crowded and everyone's distracted with their DMV business.

Alex was extremely upset since he uses it like a computer and it had all kinds of personal info on it. We started immediately changing account passwords, etc after reporting it lost/stolen. Not to mention that the iphones themselves are expensive and it is like Alex's little baby, he loves that thing!

When I'm stressed, of course my instinct is to eat, but they forgot to include my donut when i drove through for coffee! Serves me right I suppose. I did instead get soup and salad for lunch at my favorite healthy place, Columbine in Tribeca. So I suppose the day can only improve from here!

Let's hope!

Inching my way back to 40 pounds lost

2010-01-29T10:19:00.003-05:00

The scale has been up and down a lot this week, but hey, at least it's going down as the general trend.

Daily weighing definitely helps me stay accountable for what I eat every day! Otherwise, today I might have just gone of the deep end, but now I've just been reminded, oh yeah, i actually want to lose weight! So that means don't pig out!

Anyone out there have posh NYC restaurant recommendations?

2010-01-27T19:00:00.004-05:00

My boss just sent me this fab list of the NYC's most stunning restaurants, and I'm happy to say I've been to a few of them. Spice Market was particularly gorgeous!

One perk of my current job has been that it's enabled me to eat at some of NYC's finest restaurants -- given that my boss is a total foodie, we do posh things for sales meetings and we used to have vendors take us out for really incredible lunches.

Sometimes posh=small servings, so it doesn't even mean I have to totally over do it.

Sooo...I think I need one more fancy restaurant outing in NYC before we move to Austin.

Any of you guys have recommendations? I know Colleen recently went to Asiate and loved it. So that's on my list. Any other suggestions?

Time for a fill! Failed the protein test

2010-01-26T16:57:00.002-05:00

It's 5pm and I'm super hungry, so i guess that means that I failed today's protein test and need a fill.

I actually started getting a hint of being hungry at around 3pm. Just an hour and a half in to the 4 hour test. But then at 4pm it was quite clear.

I had a mtg at 4pm so I was able to distract myself for that hour, and now it's 5pm and the stomach is all out growling and I'm all If-I-dont-eat-now-I'll-be-shoving-food-in-my-face-when-I-get-home-hungry!

So since I have an appointment with Dr. K on Feb 10th, guess I'll be asking for a fill while I'm at it!

Oops! Missed an NYU appointment

2010-01-26T14:52:00.004-05:00

I just called about availability at NYU, and it turns out that I had an appointment Jan 13th at NYU that I somehow completely forgot about!

That's lame of me. I'm so flaky sometimes! These days with doctors if I dont walk out with a little card with my time, then I don't remember. I guess that has to do with putting all my appointments on my work calendar which i can't access out of work.

However, since we're moving, I thought it'd be good to see Dr. K before we leave (rather than Gaspar). Whether I get a fill or not. And surprisingly, she can see me early Feb.

Though I have to say Gaspar is just SO MUCH BETTER at doing fills. It didn't hurt last time!
But i need to see Dr. K because I want to ask her about getting pregnant and whether she has recommendations for doctors in Austin.

It'll be interesting to see whether i get a little lecture about my 5 pound weight gain. Fingers crossed I'll have taken off some of the weight and then some by the time the appointment comes around (Feb 10th).

AND that'll be just after my 6 month bandiversary. I really expected to have lost more than 50 pounds by this point. However, at this point I'm at 34 pounds down, just more than 25% of the way to goal.

My version of the protein test

2010-01-26T13:30:00.002-05:00

So I am currently trying out the 4 oz. protein test. As you'll recall I mentioned that this will tell me legitimately whether I need a fill. Based on yesterday, I'm thinking that I do.

So between 1 and 1.30pm, I had a Morning Star Farms soy riblet for lunch. It's actually 5 ounces (rather than 4). It does have some bbq sauce on it that is rather sweet so hopefully that doesn't mess up the test. Just before lunch I had a diet coke so I'm hoping that isn't a problem either (the caffeine), but here goes. Will post later on the results.

I'm quite content and pretty much full now. According to the test, if I'm not hungry by 5.30 then I don't need a fill.

Do you guys think the bbq sauce or pre-meal diet coke will affect my outcome?

"Soldier On"

2010-01-26T12:48:00.002-05:00

I got a real lift from this post from Amy on her blog, Once Upon a Time in the Land of Cheese and Sunkist. She was feeling down but at the end she says, "You cannot get depressed...You must be thankful...Soldier on!"

I love it! Thanks Amy. As I commented on her site, "Soldier On" will become my new mantra for 2010!

Gotta be honest here

2010-01-25T23:49:00.003-05:00

I was just emailing with another bandster and thought I'd get some blog feedback as well.

When I signed up for this, I thought the actual being banded part would be harder. That I'd have more trouble with the band and that in general my day to day eating would be more of a challenge. What I can eat and how much and with other people knowing.

But with the exception of getting full a little sooner, I feel the same. Good and bad.

I expected this whole weight loss thing to just "click" into place rather than it being the same hard work as before. Sometimes (not always), it feels like nothing in my head has changed, so I don't understand why some people are able to lose it if they had the same eating issues pre-surgery as I did.

I guess, bottom line, if it's still all about hard work and "dieting" or "permanently healthy eating," then I find myself wondering, how is this different than without the band where i just had to use willpower. i guess the answer is that it takes less will power now?

I've read people talking about how its hard to get the calories in and I dont understand that. Mentally, I'm still that girl who wants to eat. How did other people get that to change?

I am still going to move forward and work the band. This isn't me bailing at all. It's just that the issue came up when thinking about this and why I haven't been as successful as I could be, so I have to just put it out there.

I'm going to work my tips and techniques, but mentally, how do I change my mindset?

Easier or harder with a spouse?

2010-01-25T19:49:00.003-05:00

When I told people Alex and I were getting banded together (a month apart), we all thought it would make the whole process so much easier.

In some ways it did. I loved having someone else to go to the meetings with and the doctors appointments and someone to share the band experience with. Someone to advise and someone who gets it!

Alex is all that and mostly it's been really great doing this with someone else.

However, the challenge is that in doing this together, we do all of it together.

So when I'm doing poorly, I'm a bad influence on Alex. And when Alex is doing poorly, then he's a bad influence on me. Like today's cookie incident. I was being so good, then he gave me cookies!

However, I am just as often the bad influence. Like this past weekend when I was so stressed and wanting to completely veg (and pig) out! I ordered take out and had lots of bad food around when Alex was wanting to be good.

There are times when we're both good together, but mostly each of us has our ups and downs and the other has to figure out how to work that out.

I'm especially curious to hear from anyone else out there with a spouse or partner who has also had WLS?

Reducing Carbs and Counting Calories

2010-01-25T19:39:00.002-05:00

I feel like I'm still catching up blogging since A) I was out of pocket a bit with the sales meeting and B) my home computer isn't working well so I'm having to borrow Alex's.

I'm sure I'll have a better laptop from work once we move, but for now, I prefer Alex's. He of course doesn't prefer that.

I mostly managed no carbs today with two exceptions. I was SO starving late afternoon that I allowed myself a small package of wheat thins and then Alex gave me a couple of cookies on the way home (I'll be posting about that separately).

In addition to "reducing" carbs today (hence increasing protein), I also counted my calories. I'll be counting going forward. I just need to in order to stay on track.

I'm actually hungry

2010-01-25T16:45:00.002-05:00

I think I'm actually hungry, not just snacky!

My stomach is growling!

However, I'm holding off on my fill decision until the protein test. Despite having cut carbs, I had a light lunch as well as too much sugar and caffeine today which could have affected why I'm hungry this afternoon.